The Long Way Home
by BonesPixi
Summary: It's been five years since Donna left D.C. and Josh, but after some hard times, she decides to try find him again. Will he be happy to see her? Will he even want to? And will he be willing to help her when she needs it most? First West Wing Story. Please R&R.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi, thanks for clicking, I'm new to writing West Wing Fanfiction, but not new to reading it. I've literally read nearly every Josh and Donna fanfiction there is (on here, AO3, and national library - when it was fully functional), and after running out of new stuff to read, I decided to try my hand at writing something.**

 **I really hope you like what I've written. Thanks for reading :)**

*2009*

For Donna, it had been five years since she had moved back to Madison, five years since she had seen Josh, and five years since she made one of the biggest regrets of her life.

It had been four years since her fiancé had left her, four years since she'd become a single mother and four years since her Mom had died.

It had been three years since she last cried over her situation, three years since she officially moved in with her father to take care of him, and three years since her daughter started taking steps on her own.

It had been two years since she finally graduated university, two years since she could stop working a job that was beneath her, and two years since she tried to call Josh, but been told the service was no longer connected.

It been a month since her Dad died, three weeks since she realised that aside from her daughter she was totally alone, and a week since she decided to change all that.

For Josh, it had been five years since he'd seen Donna. And nothing else seemed as important.

…

"Come on, Tilly, we got to go," Donna called out to her daughter Matilda. It was hard to explain exactly what was going on to a four-year-old but telling her they were going on an adventure had sufficed. They needed a new life. If they didn't leave now they never would. Matilda would be starting school soon, and Donna would never feel all that comfortable moving her around once she was settled in.

Donna had travelled cross-country before. Sure, she was a lot younger, much greener, and didn't have a child as her main priority. But this time her car wasn't a rust-bucket, it wasn't the middle of winter, and what possibly waited at the end was far greater. And just like last time, she knew this was the right thing to do.

"But Momma, I can't find Dusty," the little girl yelled back.

Donna looked down at the faded brown donkey in her hands. It had been hers when she was a kid, she found it in the attic when they moved in. She gave it a good wash and then immediately Tilly had claimed it as her own.

"Just come here," Donna loudly replied.

Matilda's little feet started down the hall. As she reached the stairs she looked at the stuff toy in her mother's grasp and ran full speed down shouting 'Dusty' as she lunged into Donna's arms. Luckily for the child her mother was able to think quick and catch the flying human before disaster could strike.

"Are we ready now?" Donna asked as she carried Tilly to the front door.

"Yeah," Tilly answered as she cuddled Dusty tightly.

"Good, let's go then," Donna said as she opened the front door and exited the house. The car was all packed, everything she could imagine needing for the trip was neatly organised in the trunk.

She'd been able to rent out her parent's house fully furnished, sold their cars, and had a garage sale for the rest. All that and the money she had been putting aside for the last few years was enough to get by for a couple of months without a job. She just had to stick to a budget, and from experience that was something she was able to do well.

The problem was, once she got out of Wisconsin, she had no idea where to go. The chances of any of her old friends still being in Washington were slim to none. She hadn't kept in touch, something she kicked herself for more than once.

The Democrats had lost the White House after President Bartlet's second term. She knew Sam would still be out in California, as was CJ, if Donna recalled the newspaper articles from a few years ago correctly. She could assume Toby wouldn't want to be found. And she was never close with Will. If she could find Charlie, she would probably be able to find the President. Though if she was looking for Bartlet she'd start at the Manchester farm. She knew approximately where Leo was, however getting answers from him would prove difficult.

But Josh, Josh would be the hardest to find. For the moment she made the decision to find him, she'd been reading the Post and the Washington Times to see if his name showed up anywhere. When she was working for him, you could find his name in the papers at least once a week without looking too hard. However, she's scoured from front to back of multiple copies and his name was no where to be found.

Of course, he could have moved, everyone else had. But as well as she knew him, she couldn't see him leaving the East Coast. He'd lived there his whole life, and he didn't seem like the sun and surf type.

His condo was best place to start. Even if he wasn't there he might have left a forwarding address. And maybe she'd get lucky. Maybe he wasn't in the papers for different reasons, it was possible. She wouldn't have to think about that for at least a couple of days. The trip from Madison to D.C. could be made in just under 14 hours, but she knew Matilda wouldn't and couldn't be couped up for that long. Not to mention this was there first real trip, she wanted to have some fun with it.

…

Two days later, Donna was pulling up to the sidewalk of a familiar Georgetown street. She had talked herself out of doing this at least three times since they had started the journey. But before she could find an exit to make the turn back she was reminded why she was doing this.

Donna helped Tilly out her car seat. She would have preferred to do this without her daughter with her, but the alternate was to leave the child in the car, and that was typically frowned upon. As they walked up the stone steps hand in hand, Donna started riffling through her handbag. When she was back at home she'd found her old set of keys, one of which was for the condo. She could have used the buzzer, but if he was still there this was something she thought best explained face to face.

She held Tilly's hand as they made their way down the hall. As they reached Josh's door, Donna couldn't help but think of the last time she had been there. It was five years ago, the very last time she had seen Josh. They'd had a fight. As she left, she stopped on this side of the door, she couldn't remember if she wanted to catch her breath before leaving, or she wanted Josh to chase after her. She did know he was watching her from the peephole.

She was building up the courage to knock. After all this time and the trip, she didn't know what to say, or what she wanted from him. She wanted her friend back. Anything else was a bonus.

After a quick breather, Donna's fist struck the door three times. The wait for the door to open was agonising. She could hear the footsteps getting closer and closer. This was it. This moment was five years in the making.

The door opened and all of Donna's hopes were crushed. It wasn't Josh, but some plump fifty-year-old woman. Of course, Donna knew Josh well, and this was not his type of partner, so it was almost safe to assume this was not his new wife or something like that. She could have been his cleaning lady, but she looked far too comfortable to work there once a week.

"Can I help you?" The lady asked, and Donna almost forgot why she was there.

"Ah yeah. Hi. Does Josh Lyman still live here?" Donna stumbled to say.

"Well as I have no idea who that is, and I've lived here for two and a half years, I'm going to say 'no'," the woman said, and Donna couldn't tell if she was relieved or completely and utterly devastated. But it was one of those two.

"Do you have a forwarding address, or anything?" Donna asked, and Tilly span around in spot still holding onto her mother's hand.

"God, I would have thrown that out a while ago. If I had to think about it, maybe Florida, but I don't know, sorry," she replied.

"No, thank you. Sorry to be a bother," Donna said, as she watched the door close. Seemed like this was a dead end. Sure, she had the clue about Florida, but her gut was telling her that was wrong. He probably sent his mail to his mother's address while he settled somewhere else. She could picture him moving to be closer to his mom but knew that within a month he would have been too antsy and would need to move back. "That was a bust," Donna told Tilly as she started to lead the little girl back down the hall.

She was clipping Tilly back into her seat when she remembered she still had the keys to the apartment. It seemed a bit strange to have access into a stranger's home. "I'll be right back," she told Tilly, before locking the car, and running back across the road.

She found the letterbox that corresponded with the right number and painfully slipped the keys off the ring. She heard the dual clink as they hit the bottom, and just like that it seemed as if this part of her life was officially over.

…

Of all the years Donna had lived in D.C. she never really took in the monuments or the museums. But in the next two days that was going to change. She looked forward to getting photos of her and Tilly standing in front of the Lincoln Memorial or the Reflecting Pool. She looked forward to seeing the amazement on Tilly's face in the Natural History Museum. But she especially looked forward to the continued feeling of home that had filled her since she arrived back in the District.

Was she home, though? It was where she called home for 6 years, but she'd almost been gone longer than she was there. And wasn't it the people she worked with that made it feel like home? Wasn't it seeing Josh every morning, or getting drinks with CJ and Sam, or doing work that she knew made a difference. Did D.C. really feel like home, or was she caught up reminiscing about old times?

They were going to have to split the sights and days up, they couldn't do everything in one day. Hell, they couldn't do everything in two days, but they couldn't waste time. Josh could be anywhere in the world. He could have moved to England or Australia for all Donna knew, and although Donna wasn't going to follow him halfway around the world, she also couldn't waste all her money on a wild goose chase.

Of course, if she couldn't find Josh, she'd take the next best thing. And the next best thing was CJ. She considered Josh her very best friend, but CJ would be a close second or third. And at least she had leads on CJ.

On day 2, with her camera in hand, Donna laughed as she watched Tilly dance along the edge of a small wall out the front of the Capitol. Donna happily snapped away at the adorable sight in front of her. This part of her life would never be a regret. She loved Tilly with her whole heart and couldn't imagine her life without her.

"Donna?" A voice called out for her. She could recognise the voice, it was one she had heard for most days when they were working in the White House, but she would have to see the face to be sure of who it was.

"Charlie," Donna said as her face broke out in probably one of the largest smiles it had in a long while. Careful not to crush the flowers in his hands, Donna pulled him in for a tight hug. Seeing Charlie meant her time in the White House was real, because for the last few years it had started to feel like a dream. "What are you doing here?" She asked.

"I work here, what about you? How long has it been?" He asked, as they pulled away from each other. Donna could imagine Charlie as Chief of Staff to the Minority Whip, or something as important. It made her wonder where she would have been if she had stayed.

"We're on a little family road trip," Donna answered and motioned over to Tilly.

"She's yours? She looks just like you," Charlie said, as he looked at the little girl with Donna's blonde hair and blue eyes. "Is your husband here?"

Donna had no idea what to say, so she awkwardly laughed before telling the embarrassing details of her life. "We are no longer together," Donna said, omitting the fact that there was no husband because there was no wedding.

"I'm sorry to hear that," Charlie said solemnly.

"What about you? Hot date?" Donna asked as she pointed to the flowers in his hands.

"Quite the opposite. President Bartlet couldn't make it down this year, so I'm going to go see Leo for him," Charlie explained. "Would you like to come?" He asked bypassing the unease that Donna was no doubt feeling over her flat landing joke.

"Can we?" she asked.

"Sure, why not."

…

On the way to see Leo, Donna told Charlie about all that he had missed in her life for the last five years. As did Charlie. Donna eagerly waited any mentions of their friends but didn't want to bring the topic of whereabouts up, as it wouldn't come across organically. And she didn't want to tell Charlie the real reason she was on this trip- it was embarrassing.

To an onlooker, Charlie and Donna were walking side by side, but really, Donna was a step behind, not knowing the way to go. "You've not been here?" Charlie asked after he noticed Donna's demeanour change.

"No," Donna said shyly and gripped her hand tightly around Tilly's. "Never had the chance."

"It's the anniversary, you know?" Charlie said, but he knew the answer before Donna said anything. She couldn't believe she didn't know that. She should have known that. Why didn't she know that?

They soon arrived at a tomb stone that read 'Leopold Thomas McGarry'. Just reading the name was enough to make Donna feel all kinds of things. She had tried not to cry when she read about it in the newspaper a few years back. She had wanted to go to the funeral, but her Dad had been recovering from surgery and there had been no one to look after him or Tilly.

By the headstone there was another bunch of flowers. They were a simple white. "Who'd you think they're from?" Donna asked.

"Probably Mallory," Charlie replied. It made the most sense, but Donna was curious to know.

Donna crouched down to look at the note attached to the bouquet. She traced her thumb over the name and could feel a tear forming in the corner of her eye. She quickly blinked it away before Charlie noticed. "It's from Josh," Donna said as she stood back up.

"Huh, I didn't know he was in town," Charlie said as he laid his own flowers next to Josh's.

"It's not his handwriting," Donna replied, she knew what that meant. It meant he had called a florist and asked them for a flower delivery. He had her do it on a number of occasions.

"That makes sense, schools in session," Charlie said as if he hadn't just given Donna her biggest clue.

"What?"

"You didn't know?" Charlie asked, and Donna wanted to scream for him to get to the point.

"Know what?" She kept her face neutral, she didn't want to let Charlie in on her secret.

"He's teaching."

"Where?" She asked. Josh Lyman teaching? That was just a disaster waiting to happen. Though Donna had to admit it was a good fit, he was a good teacher, he had taught her so much, even when it wasn't his main aim, he was always teaching her.

"Yale," he answered.

"Well, good for him," she said as if she wasn't going to rush back to her motel and find the quickest route to New Haven. It was hard to believe that it was possible that in just one short day she could be seeing him again. Of course, she had thought that yesterday as well. But she didn't get her hopes up too high when she went to the apartment. She always knew there was a chance he had moved.

Yale made sense. It checked off everything on her list of what Josh would have been doing. She should have thought of it on her own. Teaching at his alma mater in his home state should have been obvious. Josh took risks, but only if they were calculated. He would have felt secure in his decision in picking Yale.

It was funny. In the end, Leo really did give her the answers.

…

They stayed in D.C. for the night as planned, mostly because there was no point wasting the money they had already spent on the room. But the next day they left the motel by 8am, and only after one quick stop for food, the toilet and to stretch their legs, they made it to New Haven by half past one.

It was easy to find the campus. It was a college town after all. But before they set forth on their university adventure, Donna and Tilly checked into new accomadation. Donna wanted to get cleaned up. Josh probably wouldn't even recognise her, and she didn't want to look like she'd been driving for the last few hours.

She changed clothes, put on a bit of light make up and ran a comb through her straight hair. She looked presentable. She looked good. And that meant she felt confident. Confident enough to see him again after all this time. It was a good sign.

Donna looked at the office door, it didn't say his name, but it had to be his. She had asked for directions to the Political Science wing and this was where she was pointed. If Josh was teaching anything, it had to be that. She would have asked at the front offices, but she already felt out of place as Tilly was a walking billboard that read 'I don't go here'.

The door was ajar, and there were quite a lot of voices coming from within. But could she hear Josh? She liked to think Josh had a discernible voice, but if he was in there he wasn't jumping out at her, like she thought he would.

"Hey Sweetie, can you sit out here, until I come back," Donna said as she walked Tilly over to a bench across from where they had been standing. She trusted her daughter not to walk off and although she was a chatty little gir,l she also knew not to go off with strangers. Donna took her phone out of her bag and loaded up a child friendly game for Tilly to play. It wasn't great parenting, but it would keep her occupied for a short while.

Donna knocked as she poked her head through the door. At once, she was standing face to face with a bunch of people she did not know, in what looked to be a faculty lounge. "Yes?" One of the women asked after she saw Donna.

"Ah, hi, I'm looking for Joshua Lyman," she said trying to sound more self-assured than she was feeling. God, what was she doing, he wouldn't want to see her. She was just his assistant five years ago, he had probably forgotten about her by now. Who was she kidding, she should just turn away and never look back. She was sure that's what Josh would have done.

"There's no office hours today," the woman said.

"Oh, I'm not a student. I'm a… I'm an old friend from home," Donna replied using the code word very few people knew about. Sure, this time the meaning was literal and not cause for disaster or concern, but it still felt right to use.

"He's in there," a different staff member replied, as he pointed over to a closed office door across the room.

"Thanks," Donna said as she made her way over to where she was pointed. This was it. Only a two-inch piece of wood stood in between them. Her heart started racing at full speed. The words she wanted to say were muddled in her mind, which wouldn't matter as there was a knot in her throat. She could feel her cheeks turning pink, and her mouth was dry.

But she had to do this. She hadn't set out on this journey to chicken out at the very last moment. Her hand unconsciously formed a fist and was coming up to the door. She quickly knocked three times and there was now no going back.

"Yeah?" The muffled and yet familiar voice called out.

Donna slowly opened the door. Just a few feet away stood Josh. All his attention was on the whiteboard he was working on. The Queen of England could have come through the door and he wouldn't have noticed.

"Josh?" Donna said in a near silent whisper, but Josh heard.

He slowly turned from the whiteboard, dropping the dry erase marker as he saw who exactly had said his name. He didn't even think as he closed the distance between them and wrapped Donna up in a hug.

"You took a lot longer to come back this time," Josh whispered in her ear as he held on to her so tight she thought her ribs were going to break, but she didn't care. It was like five years of hugs turned into one.

"But I always come back."

 **I plan for this to be a multi-chap, so if you want more let me know.**

 **Thanks for reading.**

 **And Please Review :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow guys, I'm so happy you seemed to like this story so far. I wasn't sure how active the fandom was, but I was blown away by your responses, and I just had to write the next chapter quickly to thank you. So thank you so much.**

 **Enjoy :)**

"You're really here, right? I'm not just having a mental breakdown and imagining it?" Josh said as he let go over Donna. He looked her over quickly. She really was here in the flesh, and damn did she look good.

Josh had always thought she would come back. He had given it a month. He assumed she'd come knocking on his door after she realised that Madison had nothing to offer her, and neither did that douchebag she called a fiancé. And when she didn't, he gave it another month.

He finally gave up hope the day they left the White House. He toyed with the idea of going to find her, but he couldn't stomach seeing her with a life that didn't involve him. He could see her happily married, maybe with a kid, in a job that offered her more money and responsibility. The life she had always wanted. A life without him.

"Yeah, I'm here," Donna couldn't contain the smile on her face. She really hadn't been looking for him for that long, and she got extremely lucky bumping into Charlie, but it didn't mean she wasn't over the moon to be standing where she was.

"You look great," he said, not being able to keep it to himself any longer.

"Thanks, so do you," she said honestly, but Josh didn't think she was telling the truth. He was sure his hair line had receded at least two inches, the bags under his eyes were too puffy, and he wasn't wearing his normal suit and tie. But Donna couldn't see any of that. He was as handsome to her as he was the night he threw snowballs at her window.

Josh looked down at Donna's ring finger, but there was nothing to see. Did that mean what he thought it did? There was always the chance that she didn't wear a wedding ring. However, from what he remembered she wore an engagement ring when she left, so it seemed unlikely.

"Sit, sit," Josh said as he motioned for the chair in front of his desk.

"I actually can't stay too long," Donna said. And although she wanted to, she didn't feel comfortable leaving Tilly outside by herself. And it wasn't that she didn't want Josh to meet Matilda, or that she was hiding her away, quite the opposite in fact, she just didn't know how to bring her up.

"Oh," Josh let out, thinking he understood the situation completely. She was just passing through. She'd be gone again before he even blinked. She tended to do that. She'd burst into his life and be soon gone not realising the damaged she caused when she did. "That's all I get? A quick 'hi, bye', and then you're gone again."

"No," Donna quickly replied. The tone Josh had just used frightened her, was that really what he thought of her. Did he really think she would come into his life again just for a two second conversation? "I'll be here for at least a couple of days," she explained.

"Why?"

"You, actually," she said honestly but she was still scared of the repercussions. He could still slam the door in her face, say 'bad luck, you came all this way for nothing' or tell her he never wanted to see her again. But she had to take his reaction come what may. "I really want to sit down and have a proper conversation with you. Just not here, or now," she added.

"Just tell me something. Is he here?" Josh asked. He was sure he was going to give Donna what she wanted, he always did. But if he had to see that good for nothing piece of crap that took her away from him, he wasn't sure that was a possibility.

"No," Donna answered. It was so quick Donna didn't see the smirk that crept at the edge of Josh's mouth. Donna then went across to his desk, found a spare blank piece of paper and wrote down the address to the motel she and Tilly were staying at. "This is where I'm staying. If you want to see me. Come by whenever works for you," she said as she handed the paper to Josh. "Please," she added as she let go. Josh didn't say anything as he watched her walk out the door.

And just like that she was gone again. But she didn't have to be. Did she want him back in her life, or was this just a trip down memory lane? Sure, he loved the fact that potentially that dick wasn't in the picture anymore, but how much did that really matter now?

Donna waved goodbye to the other staff members who were surely wondering who she was, but it didn't bother her. As she exited the lounge she was glad to see Tilly was still on the bench where she had left her. It was every parent's nightmare that they'd turn around for a minute and never see their child again.

"Was he in there?" Tilly asked as she saw her mother come back. Donna hadn't told Tilly all that much about Josh, just the basics. That they used to work together, and they had been really good friends. There was no point telling a child about a person they used to know, if that person wasn't going to make any impact on their life. And until Donna knew for sure, that's how things were going to stay.

"He was," Donna said. She didn't even tell Tilly that Josh was the main reason for their trip. What kind of message would that be sending the young girl?

"Good," Tilly smiled as she got off the bench and handed her mother back the phone.

"Yeah. Let's head back to the motel, Sweetie," Donna said taking Tilly's hand in hers and leading them both back out the way they came.

Donna wanted to be in their room if and when Josh came over. She also didn't know what there was to do in New Haven. For all her googling that was something she had yet to look at. So, that was her plan for the next few hours. She would do her research while Tilly played with the toys she had packed.

From what it seemed there wasn't much to do in New Haven, which wasn't all that surprising. Everything was mostly relating to Yale. There was a museum, but she was quite sure Tilly had currently used up her interest in museum's while in D.C. She'd probably end up taking Tilly to a park tomorrow. She needed a good run around, after being hauled up in the car for the last few days.

But then she also didn't want to leave the motel room. What if they were gone and Josh came by? What if that happened and he took it to mean that she no longer wanted to see him? What if she would lose her chance if they couldn't time it correctly. Course, she could leave a note outside the room in hopes Josh would find it, but then couple that with a cleaning lady walking passed or the wind blowing it away, it was unlikely to end up in Josh's hands.

Sesame Street played at a low volume in the background as Donna read one of the books she had packed. This was actually feeling like a vacation of sorts. She couldn't even remember the last time she'd been able to lie down in bed with a good book. It was probably one of the last months she was pregnant with Tilly.

There was a knock on the door, and Donna didn't want to get her hopes up that it was Josh, but who else could it have been? Rolling out of bed, Donna padded over to the door. She looked through the peephole and was overjoyed to see that curly haired man standing on the other side.

It hadn't been more then a few hours from when Donna had left Josh's office, but she was so glad he hadn't left it too long. "Hi," she smiled as she opened the door. If Josh looked into the room he would have seen Tilly on the floor, but he didn't look passed Donna.

"I bought Chinese," Josh said as he held up the bag of food. He still remembered exactly what Donna ate, and he'd gotten their favourites. Josh hadn't even thought twice about going over to Donna's motel. He would have followed her out if he hadn't had to give a lecture. She had put the ball in his court and he was sure as hell going to use it.

"There's really not any sitting room, but come in," Donna said as she held the door open for Josh.

"If I knew you were staying here, I would have offered you the pull-out sofa at mine," Josh said turning back to Donna as he walked passed her. He still hadn't lost that protective instinct over Donna. And sure, the motel wasn't half bad, but that meant it wasn't half good.

"I don't think that would be a great idea," Donna replied, though she thought it was nice of Josh to offer. She just didn't think Josh would like to have a young child mess up his house, though thinking back that wasn't really a problem.

"Mmm, yeah, my girlfriend probably wouldn't like it," Josh said as he turned around. Donna should have had some feelings about Josh having a girlfriend, and she probably did deep down, but that wasn't why she had come here.

"Probably not," she added.

Josh came to a standstill when he saw the little blonde girl lying on the floor colouring in. "There's a child in here," he said not keeping the shock out of his voice.

"Yeah, this is my daughter, Matilda," Donna said as she came to stand by Josh. "Tilly, say 'hello' to Josh," she instructed.

Tilly looked up, she hadn't even noticed Josh come in. She assumed this was the man that her mother had gone to see earlier, but she couldn't have been sure. "Hello," she smiled.

"Hi," Josh replied. Tilly's smiled filled him with warmth. She was such an adorable girl, and he thought she looked a near splitting image to what Donna would have looked like when she was young. And he could tell that even from just one word that she was happy, bright, and bubbly, just like her mother.

"Josh bought us some food, so can you go wash your hands, please," Donna asked, and Tilly got up straight away and ran into the bathroom. "I probably should have mentioned her before," Donna said, a little too embarrassed.

"Would have bought extra spring rolls," Josh said as if the revelation of Donna having a daughter hadn't fazed him. And it hadn't. Donna had always wanted kids, it was one of the reasons she had moved back to Madison. After all it had been five years, and the math stated she could have had a lot more children by now.

Josh passed the bag to Donna and she took it over to the only surface in the room. On a plastic plate she had bought for Tilly she chopped up a spring roll into quarters, a dim sim in half, and gave her a little helping of one of the entrees.

Tilly had come back out the bathroom by time her dinner was served. There was no where to eat but the beds and the floor. Donna passed the plate to Tilly and instructed the girl to sit on the floor to eat.

It was funny, Josh and Donna were once very comfortable in a hotel room together. Many a night were spent going over the next day schedules or working on campaign strategy when they were on the road. But right now, Josh stood awkwardly in the doorway, not sure where to stand, or if he was really welcome in the room.

Donna walked back over to Josh, handing him one of the containers, a pair of chopsticks, and then she sat on her bed, her back to the headboard. Not wanting to seem out of place, he took a seat on the corner of the same bed. They started to eat in silence.

"You want to swap?" Donna asked after a few minutes of neither of them saying a word. Josh looked over to her and held out his half-finished dish. "You can make yourself comfortable," Donna added as they switched food.

"I know," Josh said as he scooted back a little more on to the bed. "Why do those things look familiar?" He asked in reference to the television.

"They came to the White House once," she replied, knowing he'd probably never watched the show when he was a kid. Seeing Big Bird and Elmo was one of the last things she remembered from her time in the White House, not the actual last, but one of them.

"Ah," he said and then continued eating. He had so many questions for Donna, and yet his mind couldn't come up with any of them. She had that effect on him.

Donna hoped that whatever this lack of talking was would be over soon. She had made such a big gamble coming here, that if what was once there no longer existed then it would all be for nothing, and that terrified her.

"So, you wanted to talk?" Josh said after they had finished their food.

"I did," Donna said. "You wanna go outside?" She asked as she looked over to Tilly, who was happily colouring away again.

"Sure," he said, and got off the bed and followed Donna outside.

They found a bench that faced the motel room. Josh didn't say anything as he waited for Donna to start, which meant there was silence between the pair for a minute or two as Donna tried to work out where to begin. There was so much to explain, so much Josh didn't know, or wouldn't understand.

"You know how I left to look after my parents, right?" Donna began.

"It was among the reasons, yes," Josh replied. He tried to pretend he wasn't still bitter about her departure. He understood why she felt the need to go, but he just wished things had worked out differently.

"So, a little after Matilda was born, my mom passed away," she explained.

"I'm sorry," Josh said, he now felt a little bad for hating her for taking Donna away from him. If Donna hadn't left when she did, she might not have been able to spend any more time with her mother, and he knew what it was like to regret not spending more time with a parent.

"Thanks, and about a month ago, my dad also died," she said, and before Josh could give her his condolences again, Donna continued. "And I realised there was nothing keeping me in Madison anymore. I had nobody and nothing, I mean aside from Tilly. But I want more. And I kept thinking about when I last felt like this, and how I found you, and my whole life changed. So, I was determined to find you again, and possibly get some semblance of my old life back. And I know that's not fair. You don't owe me anything, and you can't keep being my knight in shining armour, especially after all this time," she said, the emotion obvious in her voice. "But I want my best friend back."

"What happened with David?" Josh asked, he didn't know how to respond to the other stuff, and he really wanted to know this.

"He left me," Donna revealed, though slightly embarrassed as if the wounds were still raw, even though it had been four years. "Before Tilly was born. He didn't want to be a father," she explained. Although it hurt her, she was glad that he left before Tilly could come to know him, she didn't need to know anybody like that.

"Figures," Josh said, not bothering to hide the spite in his voice. He couldn't believe anybody would leave such a beautiful child or leave Donna. He didn't like that man the moment he had met him, but right now, he despised him. What kind of man could do that to a woman he claimed to love? Or abandon their child for such a pathetic reason? And all Josh could think to answer that question was that David wasn't a 'man' at all, but the literal scum of the Earth.

"You want to know what's worse?" she began, but she didn't wait for Josh to respond. "He said he would have stayed if Tilly had been a boy," she admitted.

"Okay, where is he? Because his face needs to meet my fist as soon as possible," Josh said, and Donna could see how angry that had made him. Which was understandable. She was pretty pissed off when David had told her that too.

"Don't," she said. There was no use having Josh worked up over this, it was years in the past. "See, knight in shining armour," she smiled, and that had always been enough to calm Josh down.

"I want to help, you know I do, I don't know how though. It's not as if I have a job to give you this time. I think you're a little over qualified to be my assistant. But I don't think you'd want that, even if I could offer it to you," Josh said, and Donna understood.

"I don't need help getting a job, my resume speaks for itself. What I want is a home base, somewhere to put down roots, and to feel like a belong again. So, what I want to know is if it's alright if that's here, near you," she said, she felt like she had just asked for the moon.

"I think that's a great idea. Except…" He said, and Donna's heart dropped. "I don't live in New Haven. Nobody lives in New Haven," he joked, but was completely telling the truth.

"Where do you live then?" Donna asked.

"Westport, it doesn't take that long to drive here," Josh answered.

"Makes sense," Donna said, and of course it did. Westport was where Josh grew up, it was his home. Donna was trying to find a home, and Josh had already found his. "You'd probably have to leave soon," she said realising that the sun had already set, and drive would still take some time.

"Yeah, soon," though he didn't really want to. He had only just gotten Donna back, he couldn't leave her yet. "I could help you find a place in a good school district, if that's what you wanted," Josh added. He was determined to help her. It seemed that she had had a hard life the last few years, always taking care of someone, he wanted someone to care of her. It was what she deserved.

"Why'd I ever leave you?" She asked rhetorically.

"I was a jerk at the end," he said. He always blamed himself for her leaving, he was so dismissive with her before she left, he never took anything she said seriously, he even laughed when she told him she was engaged. She had a legitimate reason to leave, but he helped by pushing her away.

"No more than usual," she said as she nudged him in the side, to let him know she didn't really believe him or think that.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" Josh asked after a brief silence.

"I don't have anything planned yet," she replied. "Why?"

"I have the day off, thought maybe you'd want to come down to Westport. Take a look around, see if it'll be a good fit. I think you'll like it. Plus, I've been told I'm a great tour guide," he said a little too smugly by the end.

"By who?" She joked.

"People," Josh said, though the both knew the truth. Deciding to cut this part of the conversation off as quick as possible he tried moving them along. "So, is that a 'yes'?" He asked hoping for an answer in the affirmative.

"I think it's a great idea," Donna said standing up, but not before she watched as Josh's dimples began to show. God, how she had missed them. "And you've got my number now, so you can use that fantastic tour guide ability of yours and find a place to meet and let me know when you get home."

"You trying to get rid of me?"

"No, I just got to get Tilly to bed," Donna explained.

"Right, right, of course," Josh said jumping up, scared he had overstayed his welcome.

"Thank you for dinner," Donna said, giving Josh a hug. "And thank you for coming over tonight," he would have no idea how much it really meant to her.

"No problem, thanks for inviting me," he said. He didn't want to let her go. He had missed her so much. He missed her smile, her laugh, her wit, even her smell. How had she been gone for five years? It seemed as if only yesterday she had left him, and yet also that a thousand years had passed.

They both reluctantly pulled away, and Donna started walking back to her room. She turned back, to see if Josh was still there. He was. With a quick wave goodbye Donna headed back inside, and Josh went back to his car.

 **I hope you liked it. Do you think Donna will like Westport? Do you think Josh and Donna will be able to bury everything so easily? Or is there an explosion of sorts imminent?**

 **Please Review :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for reading guys, hope you enjoy.**

Josh had messaged Donna quite soon after she expected he'd returned home. As she received the first text, a smile crept across her face. Of course, she had to save his number after she knew it was him. She couldn't believe it, after such a long time she had his number programmed into her contacts again.

She hadn't deleted his number when she left, that had seemed like a horrible thing to do. And it was nice to think that with one push of her speed dial she would have been able to talk to him again. But she had never had the courage to, and by time she did, it was too late. When she got her new phone, she hadn't bothered to transfer numbers, it hadn't seemed needed. She knew no one from her old life anymore, and she guessed they hadn't wanted to hear from her.

There was a time when the name 'Josh' gracing her phone screen meant she had to give up her one free day. But now that was all she wanted. Spending the day in Westport with Josh would have been so out of the realm of possibility just last week, and now it was happening.

Donna looked over Tilly's sleeping frame before turning the lights out and settling into bed herself. Her phone lit up the night stand, and she instinctively reach out to grab it. It was Josh, she should have known. He had always had the knack of getting her just as she was falling into a slumber.

He wasn't calling, which was a relief. Her bed was warm, so there was no way she was going outside in order for her voice to not wake Tilly. He was just messaging her again. Letting her know about the plan for tomorrow.

 **Sounds great. Thank you for this,  
you can't begin to understand how  
much this means to me. **

Donna replied back. She hoped she wasn't coming off too forward, but then again if she really didn't want to come of as 'too forward' then tracking him down after five years was a bad way to go about it.

 **No problem. We save each other,  
remember. **

She couldn't help but think about all the times he had helped her. How many times had she been so close to losing her job, until he intervened. She was always going to be in his debt.

 **I think the ratio is starting to skew  
heavily in your favor.**

She really didn't think she deserved Josh's help. After all she was the one who walked out on him, not the other way around.

 **We don't keep score. It's not 'tit  
for tat', Donna.**

She loved that he has just said her name, it reiterated the fact that he knew he was talking to her. And of course, he did, but this meant that he wasn't accidentally sending his messages to the wrong person. It'd been known to happen.

 **You're still my hero.**

She typed out. She wasn't sure if she should have sent that, but it was not possible to get it back now. It was late, and she was bold. Not too bold obviously. She'd never been known for being bold, especially when it came to Josh. Back when she was his assistant she had spent a long time burying her feelings. She stopped pretending they were not there years ago. But that didn't mean that they were still around.

 **It's not heroism. It's called being  
your Best Friend. You'd do the same  
for me. **

When he said things like that, it made her swoon. How could she not? Josh wasn't known for his charming demeanour, but damn could he throw a line.

 **I wouldn't have had to. You'd  
never have left.**

Josh didn't reply with the same speed the previous messages had come in at. And Donna grew nervous. Had she said too much? Had she pushed the line? Did he read too much into what she was saying?

 **Anyway, see you tomorrow.  
Good night, Josh**

She quickly added. It felt right, cutting the conversation off when she did. This was why you should never communicate through text. Face to face was always better. You could see the emotion, you could see when you had said something wrong, you could quickly fix it with a hug or an apology. How were you meant to fix things through text? A smiley faced emoticon?

Donna tossed and turned as she tried to get to sleep. She had a gut feeling she has made a mistake. But it was too late now. She would scope out how Josh was tomorrow and see if any damage control needed to be done. All she hoped was that she was overreacting.

…

The plan was to meet mid-morning for a late breakfast. Josh had sent her the address for a diner last night, and after a quick MapQuest Donna realised it would just be easier to use the car's GPS. And that was saying a lot because Donna hated that GPS. It always told her the turns to take after she had missed the exit. But it was cheap, and it could help her if she was really in a bind.

Donna again chose something nice to wear, put on a little makeup, all in the aims to impress Josh. She picked out a cute summer dress for Tilly and tied her hair in braids. That was a skill she had learnt since she had become a mother. She'd never been all that good when it came to braiding her own hair, she thought it was too thin, or maybe she never had the patience for it. But Tilly liked when Donna did her hair, she thought it made her look beautiful. Donna thought her daughter always looked beautiful, but she was a sucker for those pleading blue eyes.

It was about an hour drive to Westport, and Donna could understand why Josh was fine driving this distance to work. The traffic was relatively non-existent, and after living in D.C. for so long he was probably relieved to get away from the congestion and daily grind.

Donna pulled up out front of the diner and confirmed that this was the address that Josh had sent her. She had been hoping that Josh would have sent her a reply since last night. But there was nothing. No confirmation, no 'see you soon', he didn't even bother to reply saying 'good night'.

She held Tilly's hand as they walked across the road and then into the establishment. The diner wasn't part of a chain, which was probably why Josh picked it out. It had a homey feel, and Donna felt that the staff would definitely remember their regular's orders. Donna looked around the restaurant, trying to see if she could spot Josh, but he was no where to be seen.

Donna led Tilly over to a free booth. She looked to her wristwatch and noticed there was still a few minutes before they agreed to meet. She was sure Josh would be able to see them when he walked in. Donna passed a menu to Tilly, so the little girl could decide what she wanted. Tilly typically took a while to decide what she was going to have, but luckily there were pictures in this menu to help her out.

A waitress came over to ask if they were ready to order, but Donna explained that they were still waiting for one more. From what she remembered Josh was very rarely late, but then again, he had a damn fine assistant that kept him on a tight schedule.

"Who are we waiting for Momma?" Tilly asked, looking up from her menu.

"The man from last night. He's going to act as our tour guide for the day. And then we can see if we want to move here. Does that sound fun?" Donna asked but wasn't sure how fun that really would sound to a child. It wasn't as if Westport was the new Disneyland or something.

"We're going to move here?" Tilly asked. She still didn't really understand what was going on. She was still trying to wrap her head around not seeing her grandpa again. She liked their life in Madison, she didn't know why they were leaving.

"Maybe, we'd need to find a house first. But it's looking like it's a possibility," Donna explained. Though she didn't feel as certain as she did last night. If you had asked her then she would have believed there'd have been a 95% chance that moving to Westport was what they were going to do, but right now it could have been 50/50. It really depended on if Josh walked through the door.

 **Just got here. We're in  
a booth.**

Donna wrote in the quick message she sent to Josh. She couldn't imagine Josh bailing on them, it wasn't in his nature, but could Donna really know who Josh was anymore? And could he even know who Donna was? Five years was a long time to not know someone. And a lot had happened in Donna's life, she could assume just as much had happened in Josh's. He was a teacher at Yale for God's sakes. If she had asked herself back then where either of them would be in five years' time, she sure as hell wouldn't have answered here.

But that was how life worked. If it turned out how you were expecting what was the point of living. She liked how her life had had twist and turns. Though when she was actually going through them they weren't all that fun, but now she could look back on those memories fondly, because they were what made her who she was today. And if she hadn't gone through all that, she wouldn't have Matilda. And she was someone Donna would never give up. For anything.

She looked at Tilly lovingly as she tried to sound out the words on the menu. She was quite smart for her age. She could read and write a large amount of words, and she wasn't set to start school for another year. "She must get that from you," Josh said as he sunk down into the booth across from Donna and Tilly. Donna was beyond relieved that Josh had showed up. She couldn't think of anything more embarrassing then being stood up after everything that's been said and done. "David was always a dinkus in my opinion," he added.

"Who's David?" Tilly asked. And Donna's face told Josh to shut up, and not mention anything about her ex-fiancé. She hadn't told Tilly much about David, didn't see then need to until she was much older.

"Just someone we use to know," Donna quickly said, trying to move the conversation off of that man quickly. "No one important," she added.

"Oh, okay," Tilly said and went back to reading the menu.

"Sorry," Josh mouthed, not realising what he had said was wrong. But he would have thought Tilly knew something about her father. Donna wasn't one to keep secrets like that. "You haven't ordered yet, have you?" He asked.

"No, no yet. We were waiting for you," Donna replied.

"Thanks," Josh said, giving the menu a once over. He came here quite a bit, so he knew what was good, and he usually knew what he was going to get before he had even arrived. But looking at the menu felt easier, like it broke the tension in some way. "You get here okay?"

"Yeah," Donna said, she was going to add on something about not being sure that he was going to come, but she thought that was better kept to herself. He was here now, that was all that mattered.

Seeing that Josh had arrived the waitress came over to take their orders. Going around the table, Tilly ordering last. She spoke clearly and politely, impressing both Josh and the waitress. The waitress then left to go put the orders in.

"What are you, like 12?" Josh joked, he didn't know how smart kids her age were supposed to be, but Tilly blew him away. It really was a testament to how well Donna had raised her, and how she obviously wasn't one of those parents that chucked the kid in front of the TV because they were too busy to care.

"Noooooo," Tilly giggled. "I'm four, almost five," she said as she held up the right number of fingers.

"Really," Josh said kind of shocked. Sure, she looked about the right age, but he just guessed she was more mature than her biological age suggested. "That would mean you were pregnant-" Josh began looking over to Donna.

"Before I left, yes," Donna finished.

"Explains why you were so emotional," he joked, it was his classic foot in mouth type humour.

"Or I, like most people, had feelings. Not everything can be explained away by hormones, Josh," Donna countered. She, along with most of the female gender, was kind of over her emotional state being put down to the chemicals unavoidably flowing through her body. But she knew Josh well enough to know he didn't mean what he said in the typical misogynistic way most men stuck in the 1950's joked about the time of the month.

"I was kidding," Josh quickly said. He realised that he couldn't joke around with Donna like he once could have, they had to get back into that rhythm before that was possible.

"I know, I didn't take offense," Donna replied, she hated the distance that was between them. It was awkward and so unnatural for the both of them. She wished she could snap her fingers and things could return to how they once were.

"When was she born?" Josh asked curiously.

"November 2nd. Bit less than seven months after I left," Donna said, and she could see Josh doing the maths in his head.

"So, it really is almost your birthday, little one," Josh said, turning back to Tilly.

"That's what I said," she replied laughing again. She didn't really know who this Josh guy was, but she thought he was funny, and her mother obviously liked him.

"Five's a big number you know. It uses all your fingers," Josh said, demonstrating with his left hand. "Well, almost," he said sillily holding up his second hand. A smile spread across Donna's face, Josh was so good with Tilly, and he barely knew her. "Is your Mom going to take you somewhere special to celebrate?"

"Are you Momma, please," Tilly said jumping up and down in her seat. "Can we go to Disneyland, or Disneyworld…or or, Disneyland," the child begged. The ads on tv made it look like such a wonderful and magical place, and the moment Donna switched on the Disney Channel she had regretted it.

"Thanks," Donna shot at Josh, it was seething with sarcasm.

"Pleaseeee," Tilly added trying to turn up the cute factor.

"Yeah 'Pleaseeee," Josh mimicked. He liked seeing Donna be put into that position. How could she say no to such an adorable face? And add Tilly to the mix, it should have been downright impossible.

"Please Momma, please," Tilly added for good measure.

"I'll think about it, okay?" Donna surrendered. She didn't like making a scene, and if she said anything that sounded like a 'No' she was scared how Tilly would react, and Josh just seemed to be fuel to the fire.

"Yay," Tilly yelled.

It was at that moment that the waitress bought their food out. "Thank God," Donna said whispering under her voice.

"Here ya go," the lady said placing all three plates down in front of the respective person.

"Thank you," Tilly said, as the pancakes landed in front of her.

"Well, you're very welcome," the lady said, smitten with Tilly, who had already started digging into her food. "Ya'll are a gorgeous family," she added. Donna's eyes bulged out of her head, and Josh tried to hide his amusement. "Enjoy your meal," she said before walking away.

Seeing Donna's face, Josh couldn't help it and broke out in laugher. "Long time since anyone thought we were together," Josh joked. It was the main gossip around Washington for pretty much the entire time that Josh and Donna had worked together there. Lyman and his overly attractive assistant. Only the people who knew them knew the truth of the matter, but it never stopped people from speculating that there was something going on beneath the sheets.

"Just like old times, but now with a kid involved," Donna said, finding the humour. She had been mortified, but that was only because she didn't know how Josh would react. They never openly talked about the rumours that were always circling. It had been easier to just bypass it and focus on the work.

…

"So, where to, Maestro?" Donna asked after they finished their meal and exited the diner. Without even thinking Josh had paid the bill, it was something he had always done when he and Donna grabbed something to eat together. He didn't even blink when he got out his credit card. It really was just like old times. But it made Donna feel uneasy. She didn't want to be mooching off of Josh, she could stand on her own two feet. This was not what she had been referring to when she had asked for help. She knew she just had to think of it as a nice gesture, and nothing more.

"Well, this is actually my neighbourhood, I live a few blocks over, so you'd think I'd know the place well," Josh said. And Donna had a feeling she knew what he was about to say. "But aside from going to the diner, I don't really get out too much," he admitted.

"So, last night, when you told me you were the greatest tour guide in existence, you were lying?"

"Maybe, just a smidge," Josh confessed. He knew Donna wouldn't be too upset. She had even called him out last night on his abilities. Out of everyone in the world Donna was the one who knew him best. Five years of not talking had nothing on their bond. She was once able to read his mind, predict his needs, and was able to declutter the mess that was in his head. He had never met anyone capable of any of that. And probably never would again.

"Mr Lyman, I am shocked," she said feigning disbelief. Of course, Josh didn't know his way around. He was a homebody. When he wasn't at work, he was at home. That's how he had always been, she couldn't picture that changing overnight, or really over half a decade. "It's fine, we're not looking for adventure we're looking for a feeling," she explained. She knew exactly what she was looking for and knew what it felt like, and she was pretty sure that from how breakfast had went, she had found it. There were only a few things that would be able to change her mind about moving here.

"I don't know how to show you a 'feeling', that's not typically something you see," he joked. "How about we just walk around the neighbourhood, and see what happens?" He suggested. It wasn't a great plan of attack for the day, but that's where they were.

"Yeah, okay. I need to get something from the car though," Donna said. "Can you watch her for a sec?" Donna asked.

"Sure," Josh said, and the watched Donna run across the road. Josh rarely talked to children. And aside from being called one constantly, he didn't have all that much in common with them. He wanted to fill the silence, and he asked her the only thing he could think off. "So, Tilly, what do you think of the legislation put forward by President Vinick as a result of his new foreign policy?" He asked looking down at the child, who stared at him blankly. "What even is you Mom teaching you?"

"I know how to do my three times tables, want to hear?" She asked. And if that was true, Josh was quite impressed, he remembered that wasn't something he learned until grade two, and even then, they were hard for him to remember.

"What's 3x7?" Josh asked. It was what he considered the hardest one, so if she could get that one, then the kid was a genius.

"21," she replied instantly, and Josh was surprised.

"Good Job. Do you know anything about politics?" Josh asked, hoping Donna had been doing right by her little girl.

"There's 100 senators, two per state," Tilly spouted.

"And which party is currently in the White House?" Josh asked.

"Republican," she answered.

"And which party do you belong to?" Josh asked, hoping she wouldn't break his heart with the wrong answer. And by God, was there a wrong answer.

"I'm four, I can't vote," Tilly laughed, she really did think Josh was the silliest person she had met.

"But if you had to pick?"

"I don't know," Tilly shrugged. "Democrat?"

"Oh, thank God," Josh said in a quick whisper.

"Please tell me you're not filling my child's head with nonsense," Donna said coming up behind Josh. Josh froze, like he had just been caught by the principal. But what did Donna expect? She left him alone, of course politics was going to come up, it was how it had always been, it's how it would always be.

"I'm not," he answered.

"Uh huh," Donna replied, not believing him. She could just imagine what he had been spouting off. Let him talk long enough and he would no doubt go on a tangent about how the current administration was ruining America and was walking back all the hard work he had done.

"Scouts honor," he said holding up three fingers in their salute. Donna stared him down, until he slowly lowered his hand. Lying was a lot easier with people who didn't know you. "I still wasn't filling her head with nonsense, I just asked her what political party she belonged to," Josh admitted.

"She's four," Donna replied.

"That's what she said," Josh said almost amazed, and Donna couldn't help but roll her eyes.

"So, are you going to lead the way?" Donna asked.

"Let's go," he said, and they began to walk.

Knowing she had to hold someone's hand when they were walking outside, Tilly took a hold of Josh's. Josh looked over to Donna concerned, he had never held on to a child before, he was a little out of his element. Donna looked down at Josh and Tilly's intertwined hands, and a warm feeling flooded over her and she knew she had definitely made the right decision in coming here.

 **Had to cut this chapter off somewhere, it was getting a bit long. How do you think the rest of the day's going to be? Are you liking the interactions between the three?**

 **Please Review :D**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks all for reading and you continued support :)**

Josh and Donna had been walking around for almost an hour, and Tilly was starting to get tired and irritable. After all, an hour walk was a long time for a four-year-old. Not to mention the topic of conversation wasn't all that stimulating for her. The grownups kept talking about politics and the good ole days.

When Josh stopped and showed them a playground he thought he was doing the right thing. Tilly could play with other kids and run around, and he and Donna could continue talking. But when Donna asked if Tilly wanted to go play, she near threw a tantrum.

"She's tired," Donna said apologising for Tilly's outburst. She very rarely got like this, so Donna usually took her seriously when she did.

"What do you want to do?" Josh asked, he was completely out of his comfort zone. In his mind they hadn't been walking that long, but then again Tilly had to take three steps for Josh's one. And although Josh and Donna weren't walking at the normal fast pace, it was still a bit quick for a child.

"I don't know," Donna said looking around. She was at a loss. Typically, a playground was a great idea. If they had been anywhere else when Tilly had started acting like this she would have suggested coming here. It was too early for lunch, and Tilly had finished all her breakfast, so she wouldn't have been hungry.

"My place is just around the corner," Josh said. He hadn't shown them his house yet, and wasn't even sure if he was going to, but if they needed a place to take a breather, then maybe that was the best option. What else was there? Donna and Tilly going back to the motel? That would mean the end of the day, and Josh was not ready to say goodbye yet, and he could tell Donna wasn't either.

"Do you want to go to Josh's house?" Donna asked crouching down to be eye level with her daughter. She found that worked best when Tilly was liked this. Tilly didn't say anything, just gave an unenthused shrug. "That's as good as a yes," Donna replied as she looked back up to Josh.

"Okay, should only take five minutes," Josh said.

"Do you want a piggyback?" Donna asked Tilly, knowing that there was no way Tilly was going to walk anymore.

"Sure," Josh answered, and Donna couldn't help but smirk up at him. He really was a doofus sometimes.

"Hop on," she said as she turned in place for Tilly and tapped her shoulder. Once she could feel Tilly securely around her neck, Donna tried to start rising up.

"Need help?" Josh asked holding out a hand for her.

Normally she could do this by herself, but she wasn't going to say 'no' to the chivalrous gesture. "Thanks," she said as she found her balance. The right thing to do was let go of Josh's hand. But how often had she wanted to just be able to walk around hand and hand with him. Oh, how her younger self would have found it hard to let go. But she did. Mostly because she needed the arm to support Tilly. And also, because they weren't 'there' anymore. They weren't really ever 'there', so she didn't know why she was thinking about it.

And then they were on their way. Donna was actually quite curious to see Josh's house. Was it a bachelor pad like she was so used to seeing from him? Or had he gone in a totally different direction in decorating. Did he live in a house, or an apartment? Was it big or small? Had he bought it planning for a future family or did he think that was not on the cards for him? She also wondered why he hadn't showed it to them yet. She assumed that was going to be the first stop on the tour.

But no, he had showed them the small stores that lined the streets, and what place had the best coffee or the place which had burgers that were actually cooked right. He showed her an elementary school that was nearby. She tried not to read too much into it, but was he thinking that she would be moving this close to him?

She didn't have any objections to that, but she hadn't really thought that was a possibility. Even in D.C. they had lived in opposite directions. They had never lived close to one another. It was usually because Josh could afford the nice places in the nice neighbourhoods, and Donna couldn't. And she assumed that still hadn't changed. After all he was a professor at Yale University, and she was out of a job.

"This is it," Josh said, as they came to a stop in front of a small but very nice house. It was not what she had been expecting. She wondered if he had help picking it out. He had mentioned he had a girlfriend. Was this girlfriend pre or post purchase of the house? Josh hadn't really talked all that much about her, and Donna wasn't sure why. Was it not all that serious between the two, or did he just not want to talk about her with Donna? She thought about when he had been dating Amy or Mandy, and if it had been good or bad between them, Donna usually heard about it.

Josh unlocked the door, and then held it open for his guests. Donna didn't put Tilly down until they were inside. "It's nice," Donna said as she looked around the part she could see.

"I'll give you a tour, but it's not that big," Josh said. He wanted something small. He had been used to small. It was easier to clean small. There were no expectations with small. "Bedroom. Office. Bathroom. And kitchen and living room," he said as he walked them around the house.

"Can I put the tv on?" Donna asked.

"Yeah sure, make yourself at home," Josh said from the kitchen, as he was getting some glasses out the cupboard. Tilly jumped on the couch, and cuddled into the arm of the chair, as Donna tried to find something age appropriate, and yet wouldn't bore Josh, on the tv. That was actually a hard task to undertake. She didn't know Josh tastes anymore, though she guessed it was still CSPAN or CNN, but she knew Tilly would be completely bored watching a House vote or the Washington talking heads.

But then they were only here to accommodate to Tilly's needs, so shouldn't her programs win out. Though it was also Josh's TV, so she really felt like she was in between a rock and a hard place, and one really shouldn't feel like that when deciding on what television show to watch.

Luckily Josh had a movie channel that was playing a kid's film. The great thing about children's movies was that they were also made for the adults who would have to watch what the kid wanted to watch. It seemed like the best option. Tilly didn't care that it had already started, thankfully.

Donna sat down next to her daughter, and suddenly Tilly was no longer cuddling with the arm rest but with Donna. Donna didn't mind. She could have Tilly nuzzled up next to her forever, because she knew it wasn't going to last long. When Tilly was younger there was nothing Donna loved more than when she fell asleep in her arms. She really felt like a mother the first time that happened. It made her feel like she was doing something right, that things were going to work out. People say a mother's hug has healing qualities, but that's nothing compared to a hug from your child.

"What are we watching?" Josh asked as he came to sit down, passing a glass to Donna.

"Bolt, it came out last year," Donna explained.

"Haven't seen it," Josh replied.

"You, and almost fifty-year-old man, have not seen this child's movie?" Donna replied, again her voice seething with sarcasm.

"Please don't say that word," Josh requested.

"What? 'Child's movie'?" Donna asked not sure what he was referring to.

"No, the Five Oh word," he whispered, as if his age was some big secret.

"Alright. I promise I will not say the word 'fifty' in your company. Did you hear that, Tilly? Josh doesn't want you to say the word 'Fifty'," Donna said, loving that she could bait Josh on.

"Fifty?" Tilly asked, not understanding the joke.

"Yes, don't say 'fifty'. 'Fifty' is not a word we are allowed to say. So, we should refrain from saying 'fifty'. Do you understand? Don't say 'fifty', Josh doesn't like the word 'Fifty'," Donna said, putting extra emphasis on the word each time she said it.

"Oy vey," Josh said throwing his hands up in the air.

"Now Til, what word are you not allowed to say?" Donna asked, coaxing her child to say it.

"Fifty!" Tilly screamed, and Josh crumpled his head into his hands in mock exasperation.

"Watch the movie…both of you," Josh said. He actually really liked this. It felt familial. It felt like this was how things were meant to be. He couldn't believe that they'd only been back in each other's lives for less than a day. It was if no time had passed, and yet it obviously had. He had known it for the last five years. He should have fought harder for Donna to stay. How had he been so stupid?

"Momma," Tilly said after there was about a five-minute silence.

"Yeah bub," Donna asked.

"Can we have cookies?" Tilly asked.

"Um, I don't think Josh would have any cookies," Donna replied, sorry to disappoint her child.

"Sorry," Josh added, confirming Donna's suspicions.

"You could make them," Tilly said, not realising that would have been inappropriate, and actually a lot of effort.

"Well, if Josh doesn't have cookies, he certainly doesn't have the ingredients to make them," Donna laughed, trying to let Tilly down easily. Though next she'd probably be asking for them to run to shops to get them.

"Hey, I have basic baking needs," Josh replied, hurt that she would think so little of his kitchen stocking ability. But then he remembered he had once lived pretty scarce in the food department, and a majority of that time was when Donna had known him.

"You want to make cookies?" Donna whispered to Josh. She wanted to give him an out. She would think this was taking up too much of his hospitality.

"Sure, why not," Josh said. "I have no idea what's going on in this movie anyway."

"Do you actually know how to make cookies?" Donna asked still wrapping her head around the fact that he had the ingredients.

"Well, no, but how hard can it be, and you can help. Mom's are meant to know how to make cookies right?" Josh said. His own mother made the best snickerdoodles he'd ever tried, but he was sure he was a bit biased.

"I've known how to bake them since I was a teenager, it's not really a 'Mom' skill," Donna replied.

"Then let's see what you're made of," Josh said jumping up from the sofa, Donna quickly following him.

"Wait," Donna said, stopping not too far from where they had been sitting. "Tilly to get cookies, you must answer one question correctly." Donna waited for the girl to be paying attention. "How many states are there?"

"Fifty," she yelled with glee. Mostly because she was getting cookies, but also because she got the question right.

"You're an evil evil woman you know that?" Josh asked as he led Donna to the kitchen and began showing her where everything was. God, this felt so domestic, and he loved it. But then he knew this wasn't his to love. And it never would be. Of course, there was still time to have a child of his own, with someone else, but it wouldn't feel like this.

Donna started showing him step by step instructions on what to do. It was nice to teach him something for once. It had always felt like he was teaching her. Though she was sure in those six years they knew each other, she would have taught him a thing or two, even if nothing was coming to mind.

Josh had absolutely no culinary ability and was making a mess out of every step. It was a good laugh. Something Donna hadn't had in a long while. Her life had been so down for such a long time, it felt great to finally be able to let off some of that tension and enjoy herself again. The White House had been hard work, but they had always found a way to have fun with it. She missed that.

"This looks cosy," came a voice that Donna didn't recognise, but made Josh stand up straight. If Donna had to guess she could deduce that from how Josh was acting, and the fact that this woman had keys to Josh's place, she was the girlfriend. "I didn't mean to interrupt," she said.

"Rach," Josh said walking around the counter to get closer to her. He kissed her quickly in greeting. He tried to play down that he wasn't surprised to see her. "Rachel this is Donna, we used to work together at the White House. Donna, this is Rachel, my girlfriend," Josh smiled, he didn't think their meeting was going to happen so soon.

In fact, he hadn't even told Rachel about Donna. Well, that was a lie, of course he had. Donna came up in nearly every story he told about his time as Deputy Chief-of-Staff. He just hadn't had a chance to tell her that Donna was back in his life, after all, it had only happened yesterday. And it wasn't like he saw Rachel every day. He wasn't keeping Donna's reappearance secret or anything, there just hadn't been a chance.

"It's nice to meet you," Donna said as she brushed flour off of her hands and held out one in greeting.

"Josh has told me a lot about you, he didn't tell me you were back in his life though. So, someone's got some explaining to do," Rachel said, trying to get the surprise out of her voice.

"It only happened yesterday," both Josh and Donna said in unison.

"Ah, and you're already making cookies together, that was some reconciliation," Rachel said, she couldn't help but think they went from 0 to 60 at warp speed. She had heard a lot about Donna, and although she had only heard Josh's side of how things ended, she couldn't believe they put their differences aside so fast. Josh had told her he was near heartbroken when Donna left him, which she couldn't understand, she was only his assistant. The only way she would have been like that over a former co-worker was if their relationship wasn't solely professional. But Josh guaranteed they hadn't been sleeping together.

"Yeah, my daughter wanted a snack," Donna explained, she was trying not to make this awkward. She had been around enough of Josh's girlfriends in the past to know how jealous they could get over her and Josh's relationship.

"Oh," Rachel said, suddenly completely reassured that this was purely a friendship thing. Donna was still with the guy she left D.C. with, and they were happy. Her relationship with Josh was not in danger. "Well I really didn't mean to interrupt. I needed to pick up some paperwork I'd left here the other day," she explained. "Didn't even think you'd be home. Don't you have a class today?" Rachel asked.

"Nope," Josh replied, a little too quickly. The teacher had cancelled the class. Could he help it if he was the teacher? "Study day," he said. Josh knew that when he was a student sometimes you just needed a day off to catch up, so in his mind by not giving a lecture he was helping his students out. It really was a selfless act.

Donna saw through that an excuse almost instantly, and she smiled to herself. He took the day off for her. That was a very sweet thing for him to do. And the fact that he did it for her, meant so much. "Worked out well for me," Donna added, though she wasn't sure if she was doing damage to his lie or not.

"That was lucky," Rachel said as she found the files she was looking for. "Okay, I'll see you later," Rachel said, kissing Josh on the cheek. "Because we obviously have somethings to talk about," she laughed before walking back down the hall, and leaving.

Donna and Josh both waited until they heard the door close before saying a word. "You didn't have to cancel a lecture for me, we could have done this any other day," Donna said trying to not show how truly touched by the gesture she had been.

"Yeah, but I didn't want to wait to see you again," Josh said. He would cancel every lecture for the next week if he could replay this day again and again. There was silence as they mulled over what had just been said.

"So, that was the girlfriend," Donna asked. She was glad she had gotten to meet her sooner rather than later. Maybe now Josh would talk about her more.

"Yeah, Rachel. She's great," Josh replied, he didn't know why, but he didn't want to talk about Rachel with her. He wanted things to stay easy between him and Donna for the foreseeable future. They could talk about everything else when they were assured things were back to normal. And that wasn't going to happen in a day. That was barely going to be able to happen in a week.

"Where'd you met?" Donna asked pushing him to know more.

"Blind date," he replied, not giving her too much information. Did she really need to know all this? Did she really need to know that they had met after a colleague had set them up? And not because he had thought they would make a good couple, but because they both lived in Westport? Did she really need to know that they had been dating for a year, and he didn't feel so scared of commitment anymore and gave Rachel a key to prove that? Did she really need to know that he had considered asking Rachel to marry him, or that they'd been quite happy since they met?

What Josh liked about Rachel was she wasn't one of the Washington Elite. She voted, but that was where her interest in politics ended. She wasn't with him for the power he once wielded, or just to be seen with him. They were together because they were happy together. And wasn't that what you were meant to look for in a relationship?

Of course, all this was before Donna had showed up. He wasn't sure how Donna being back in his life was going to affect his relationship with Rachel, but from past experience he had a feeling it would. And he wasn't all that sure anymore if that was a bad thing. But he knew that was stupid to think about. If Donna had ever wanted a future with him, she would have stayed, and maybe that little girl she was raising would be theirs and not just hers.

"Really? You went on a blind date? You let somebody set you up? You're serious?" Donna asked. It was funny because Rachel looked like the type Josh normal went for, and yet someone else had picked her for him. What were the chances?

"Yeah, really," he said not really sure she was getting at, but whatever she was implying he didn't want to know. "So, what's next?" Josh said, coming back over to the where they had been working on the mixture. Donna banged her knuckles on the counter in reference to their old boss, which caused Josh to laugh, and let out the breath he was holding.

"We roll the dough in balls," Donna instructed, and they got underway. She could tell Josh was abrasive to talk about Rachel, she just didn't understand why. But if he didn't want to talk about it, then she wouldn't make him.

…

After the movie finished, and the cookies had been eaten, Tilly was in much happier and normal mood, Josh and Donna decided to get the show back on the road, quite literally, with a driving tour. They had to took Donna's car, because otherwise Tilly had nowhere to sit.

It was a bit strange having Donna drive while Josh pointed things out, but it came easier as the day went on. Westport wasn't all that big and didn't have that many neighbourhoods, but they stayed close to his. He showed them the beach, and he even thought Donna would get a kick out of seeing the house he grew up in, she did.

By five o'clock they stopped for dinner, and it really felt like a blast from the past to be eating all the day's meals with Josh, and the fact that none of them were homemade, only cemented the feeling.

"So, what are you thinking?" Josh asked after their meals had been placed in front of them. He hoped she was going to say she loved Westport and she and Tilly were definitely going to move there. That they were going to start looking for a place tomorrow, and all that.

Donna was cutting up Tilly's chicken but knew exactly what Josh was talking about. That instinct had never gone away. "Isn't Westport, you know, expensive?" She knew for a fact that it was ranked in the top thirty cities of America's richest places, and she was not a top thirty type person. The place could be to die for, but that didn't mean she was going to die trying to afford it.

"Yeah, but we can find something in your price range," Josh said. He so little thought about money and had few expenses that he didn't even realise the toll it could take on people. It wasn't that he was a snob or was overly swimming in cash, he just lived on what he needed. "And I can help you out if you need it," he said.

"I've never asked for your money Josh, I'm not starting now," Donna said adamantly. She was not here for a hand out. She wanted to be able to respect herself and taking money from Josh was not the way to go about it.

"It'd be a loan, nothing big, just until you get back on your feet again," Josh pushed.

"Thanks, but no," she said rejecting his offer. "I wouldn't be able to look at myself," she said, and after everything that had happened there was no way she could do that to Josh. He had been so forgiving, that she was sure he didn't even know what she needed to apologise for.

"But aside from the price, you like Westport?" Josh asked. They had had a good day, he was sure that he had not misread that.

"Yeah it looks like a great town. Tilly would be lucky to grow up here. I mean you grew up here, and you turned out alright," Donna said.

"Just alright? I think you mean exceptional, exquisite, and downright brilliant," Josh added cockily, and his dimples started to show.

"You forgot modest," Donna replied quickly, but Josh was right he was all those things and more.

"We'll just have to look for a place in your budget, there's got to be somewhere. Go back to the motel, figure out how much you can afford, and then we'll look around and see if we can find anywhere that fits your needs. Don't give up on it before you need to," Josh said. He wondered what had happened to Donna in the last five years. She was once so optimistic and always willing to fight. Had she just gotten tired or had someone taken that spirit away from her?

"Okay," Donna replied. She really wanted this. It had only been her dream for the last day, but it was all she could think about. A great place for Tilly, and near Josh, nothing could be more perfect. But she also didn't want to get her hopes up, what if it didn't work out? What if there was nowhere that fit the descriptions of everything she needed? What if all this was too much to ask for?

"Excellent," Josh said. If he had known when he woke up yesterday, how much his life was going to change, he wouldn't have believed it. If you had told him Donna would be knocking on his office door, he would have called you a liar. If he knew he'd been eating dinner with Donna and her kid, he would have thought the world was ending. He would have bet the Cubs would win the World Series, before he saw Donna again, and now he was thinking it was time to put some money down. "Do you want to get lunch tomorrow?" Josh asked moving topics. He wasn't sure the next time he'd see Donna, so he wanted to get a plan in before leaving.

"Sure, where?" Donna answered.

"I have a two-hour break between classes tomorrow, so somewhere near campus," he said. He couldn't take multiple days off of teaching, it wasn't fair to his students, and the university wouldn't like it. He also had a lot more classes on tomorrow then he did today, it was easier to cancel just one, then say three or four.

"Yeah, sounds good," Donna replied.

 **Okay their first full day together is over, do you think they are getting their groove back? Did you like Rachel? How much of a problem do you think she will be? What do you think will happen next? Will Donna actually be able to move to Westport or will something happen to ruin that?**

 **Let me know**

 **Please Review :D**


	5. Chapter 5

**Again I want to thank you for the feedback I have received, it is really and truly lovely to read what you have to say. So thank you.**

 **Just quickly (not though anyone has mentioned it) I'm from Australia, so I write in Australian English (unless it's in dialogue), I would change it to American but Word always changes it back, and I need it for when I do assignments. Anyway just thought I'd let you know. Just in case it was bothering anyone, I apologise for that.**

 **Enjoy :)**

The three of them walked back to Josh's office after lunch the next day. Josh liked walking with them through the campus, as it meant his students were much less inclined to come up to him, not to mention he liked the company. He liked his colleagues at Yale, but they just weren't to the same calibre as his friends at the White House.

"Can you come in for a bit, I have something to show you?" Josh asked as he reached the door to the department's faculty lounge.

"Okay," Donna replied as she followed Josh in.

Josh waved to the people in the lounge, and then led Tilly and Donna into his office. He pulled an extra seat over for Tilly, and then went around his desk. Although his desk was a mess, he easily found what he was looking for.

"How do these look?" Josh said, as he handed Donna a dozen or so pieces of paper. They had discussed what Donna was looking for house wise over dinner last night, and Josh had gone home and checked out the current listings online. He knew Donna wouldn't have had a chance to, what with driving back to the motel, and getting Tilly to bed, and working out the budget they could live on. Not to mention they had been texting pretty much all night.

Donna flipped through the papers, she didn't look at the pictures first, but the price, and although she hadn't shared with Josh how much she was willing to spend these were all in or near her price range. He did well.

"I want to see," Tilly said, and Donna handed her almost half the stack.

"These could work," Donna surmised as she scanned the details. All had two bedrooms, all were in Westport, some were missing two to three things, but that was to be expected.

"I like-," Josh said leaning over and taking the papers out of Donna's hands. he flipped through them, but the one he wanted to show wasn't there, and he handed them back. "Til, can I look at those for a sec," Josh asked, and Donna liked that he was already comfortable enough with her daughter to shorten her nickname. Tilly passed him her pieces of paper and he quickly searched for the one he was looking for, and then handed all but that one back to the little girl. "-This one," Josh said as he showed the paper to Donna.

This house was down the block from his place, they would have gone passed it yesterday while the were walking around. It had a backyard which he thought Tilly would like, and a patio that he thought Donna would love during the summer months. And she already knew she liked the neighbourhood. "This is good," Donna said as she read the description for a second time.

"There's an open house on Saturday, want to go?" Josh asked.

"Sure," Donna replied. She was surprised Josh wanted to spend so much time together, that had plans to see each other nearly every day since she arrived. She thought he would be sick of her by now. But then again, she wasn't sick of him yet, it was quite the opposite, in fact.

…

On Saturday, Donna and Tilly drove down to Westport, went over to Josh's place, and then she, Tilly and Josh walked down to the house together. Donna liked that Josh wanted to come to the inspections, it meant she wasn't alone in this. Which was something she was sure she would have been feeling if she was still in Madison.

The exterior of the house looked just like the pictures, and that boded well for the rest of the house. Angles were everything in real estate, and with a good photographer you could make a broom closet look like a walk-in robe.

They were a couple of minutes early, and they seemed to be the first ones there. Donna wanted to take that as a good sign, but there was a little part of her that was worried that the inspection had been cancelled or that they had already rented out the place.

"Are you here for the inspection?" A man said as he came out of the house.

"Yeah," Josh replied, before Donna could.

The man told them that they could come through, and that there was no harm in starting early. As Donna walked in she could tell she was going to instantly fall in love with this place.

Each bedroom had a feature wall, the first one- a deep turquoise, and the second- a light lilac. It was nice to see the house with furniture already in it. I showed the potential the place held. She could also mentally tick off what went and what didn't. She wasn't an interior designer, but she knew how décor worked.

The lilac room was already set up for a little girl, it was near exactly how she would have the room for Tilly. Even down the colour of the wall. The room was big enough for a single bed, wardrobe and still had space to play. Tilly would love it. The turquoise room really only had room for a queen bed, but there was built in, so, much room wasn't really necessary.

The rest of the house was open-planned, well aside from the bathroom and laundry, and Donna L.O.V.E. loved it. There were marble countertops, a rangehood, and an island bench. It eliminated the need for a dinning table, which would double the living room space. Donna could have a work desk, and Tilly another play area, as well as a sofa and a tv cabinet.

There were floor-to-ceiling glass doors that looked out on to the patio and back yard. And Donna could just imagine the summer breeze that would be able to flow through the house at night.

This place was perfect. Too perfect. There had to be a catch.

"So, we have tenants in here for another month, we just wanted to get a jump start on showings. Obviously, all the furniture is theirs and does not come with the house," the realtor said coming up behind them.

And there it was. A month. Donna and Tilly couldn't wait a month. But the realtor kept talking. He told them how the owners were looking for a family just like there's, with a young child. And if they sent in their application he could move it to the front of the pile. And all these other things, that Donna thought really didn't make a difference. A month was still a month, no matter where her name came in the stack.

"You want to talk it out?" Josh asked as they exited the house. He sometimes needed someone to be a sounding board for him when he was trying to work something out. Donna had played that role at least a couple of hundred times, it was about time he returned the favour.

"Can we?" Donna asked, as if she was scared of imposing, even though Josh had offered.

"Sure," Josh replied as if it was a given.

Instead of leading them back in the direction to his house, he started walking them to the park that Tilly had had her tantrum at a couple of days earlier. Tilly was in a good mood, it seemed, so he wasn't expecting a repeat performance, and he assumed Donna could use some time to think without having 100% of her attention on the child. The playground could provide that in a way Josh could not.

When Donna realised where they were headed, she was actually surprised Josh had thought of it on his own without any input from her. She was glad they had ended up here. Tilly needed a good run around and a chance to play properly.

After finding a free bench with a clear view of the playground, the pair sat and watched the little blondie run off. "So, you liked it?" Josh asked. He already knew the answer, he could read Donna pretty well at times, and she hadn't been hiding behind her poker face at the inspection.

"I did. I really did. I loved it," Donna replied. It wasn't her dream house by any means, but it was damn near perfect for what she needed for right now. "And I know Tilly liked it," she added, the kid had made her feelings very obvious.

"It's a 'yes' then on going forward?" Josh asked, slightly surprised it had been that simple.

"It's the first one we've looked at though. You're not meant to fall for the first one you see, you're meant to look around," Donna replied, as if Josh was crazy for even suggesting that.

"Hey, I know from experience that looking around is pointless when what you need it right in front of you," Josh said, and the way he was looking at her, Donna knew he was referring to something other than looking for a house to rent.

"Thanks," she smirked.

"For what? I was talking about Linda, my assistant after you left," Josh replied and coyly smirked. Though if he really thought about it had the girl who replaced Donna even been called 'Linda'? Had his assistant even been a girl? He had tried not to get too close to any them, because he had been certain Donna would have been back at any moment.

"Uh huh, sure you were," she retorted. She knew Josh well enough to know he had undoubtedly gone through a dozen assistants before finding one he could tolerate and one who could tolerate him.

"I was," Josh locked his eyes on to Donna's, it was a showdown of who would back off first. He couldn't let Donna be right, even though she so clearly was. Donna laughed and broke off their staring contest. It was not worth the hassle, they both knew the truth, that was what was important.

"There's a month until it's move-in ready, I don't want to live in the motel for any longer than I have to," Donna said starting back on the conversation they were meant to be having. "Which mean's I should keep looking and find something that's ready now, right?"

"A month isn't that long," Josh argued.

"It is if we have to live in that room the whole time. I want to be able to cook a proper meal for my daughter," she said. There was no way she was going to let Tilly live on takeout for the next thirty days. "And, I'll need to find a preschool somewhere in town, and I can't drive back and forth everyday I'm out looking for a job," Donna explained.

"Find a new motel?" Josh suggested.

"I already looked into it. Everywhere in town is too expensive if I want to have enough for first and last month, new furniture and childcare," she said.

"Okay, so if all those things didn't exist, this would be the house for you?" Josh asked.

Donna looked over to Tilly who had just made her way down the slide. Tilly waved happily as she saw her mother watching. Donna smiled because Tilly had genuine joy spread across her face. This was the life she wanted to give her daughter. "Yeah, it would be," she replied.

"I know I joked about it when I first saw you, but come stay on the pull out," Josh offered.

"I can't," Donna replied, it was an automatic reaction.

"Why not? You already know I have a kitchen," Josh continued, dismissing Donna's rejection. "It's in a great location, and it'll be the cheapest motel you'll find," he said, hitting all the points she had stated were reasons to keep looking for different place.

"Josh," Donna breathed out. It was such a nice gesture, and she really wanted to take him up on it, but I would be inappropriate, she couldn't abuse his hospitality like that. A month was a long time to spend together, especially as they had no idea if they could even be able to handle each other for extended periods of time anymore.

"Come on, it's the perfect solution," Josh said taking Donna's hand in his, whatever argument Donna could come up with he knew how to counter it. His debate skills were unrivalled.

Donna looked at him closely, she could tell he was serious, that he wasn't going to change his mind, or rescind his offer. He was in 100%. She should have thought twice before underestimating his willingness to help her out.

"So, if I say yes," Donna began, and Josh began to beam. "I'm not saying 'yes', but if I say yes, you have the right to kick us out whenever. And I assume you'll say no to any money I offer you," Donna said, and Josh nodded. "Therefore, if you want, I will cook enough food for you at dinner. I'll buy my own grocery's and clean up after us each day, you won't even know we're there," Donna said explaining her terms.

"But, I want to know you're there," Josh replied. He wouldn't have offered at all if he never wanted to see them. And he liked the idea of knowing for sure that Donna was safe and close by. He'd gone too long without knowing that, and he felt like he could finally rest assured again.

"Okay," she said, though this had to be against her better judgement.

…

"We're going to stay with Josh for a little while, until we move into our new home," Donna told Tilly as they were walking down the street to get back to Josh's house. Once Donna agreed to stay with Josh they called the realtor almost immediately and had gotten everything worked out, or as much as they could have while on the phone.

"It'll be a lot nicer than that crap-bag motel you're at now," Josh added. And he could say that, it wasn't like he hadn't seen the place.

"Josh," Donna scowled.

"What? It will be," Josh retorted. Donna gave up, knowing she couldn't explain what was wrong with what he had said. And with how he used to describe her apartment, the motel got off easy.

"What's a crap-bag?" Tilly asked, and Donna just looked at Josh with a 'See' expression. How could Josh not know kids repeat nearly everything they hear, especially when it's a curse word?

"Nothing," Donna quickly replied.

"Your motel room," Josh said at the same time as Donna.

"I don't want to stay in a crap-bag, Momma," Tilly said innocently.

"We're not, Sweetie. Josh shouldn't have said that, and now, he's not going to say anything for the rest of the walk. Isn't that right, Joshua?" Donna said with her stern Mom face, and he was a little intimidated. And possibly a little turned-on, he wasn't sure.

The three of them walked in silence for a short while. Donna was one of the only people he had been known to take orders from, so when she said, 'be quiet', he was going to do it. Except, "Laura!" Josh shouted in his own 'Eureka!' moment. Donna looked around, but there was no one who would have gone by that name in the vicinity. Particularly because they were on an empty street.

"What?" Donna asked confused, had Josh formed a strange type of Tourette's that caused him to shout out random women's names? "Who?"

"My assistant, her name was Laura, not Linda," Josh replied.

"Ah, I see she was very important to you then," Donna smiled. Josh not remembering his assistant's name only solidified her theory that she and Josh had had something special. Deep down she had known it then, but now with hindsight she knew for sure. It had been hard in the last few years to remember how great things between them had been, especially as it had been so tense by the end, but she was beyond glad that they were getting a chance to fix that.

"Hey hey, don't start thinking you were special because I still remember your name. I had to put up with you for a lot longer," Josh replied.

"How unfortunate for you," Donna quipped back.

"You were quite annoying," Josh replied.

"My Mom annoys you?" Tilly asked, and Josh had forgotten that she was able to hear him. Usually when they bantered with each other, the only people around were adults who could understand they weren't being serious.

"What? No. Your Mom's great, I love your Mom, she was the best assistant and friend I've ever had, we were just kidding around, it's what we do," Josh said, he felt it important for Tilly not to think that he thought any less of Donna than he did. Josh's words melted Donna, but she wouldn't let him know that.

"Do I annoy you?" Tilly asked looking up at Josh.

Josh stopped, which caused Tilly to, as she was holding his hand again. He bent down and picked Tilly up, he wanted her to hear his words. "Matilda Moss, you annoy me even less than your mother does," Josh said, as his arm wrapped around Tilly. From what Donna had told him, Tilly really hadn't had a male influence in her life, aside from her grandfather, and he really wanted her to trust him, to know he was a good guy, to know not all men were like David, and to know that she deserved better than that deadbeat.

"But you said Momma didn't annoy you," Tilly said a little confused.

"Exactly," Josh said, giving her a little wink, hoping Tilly would understand his words completely.

 **So how do you think staying with each other's gonna work? Do you think it's too fast? Was it a bad decision on Josh's part to offer, of for Donna to take him up on it? Are we feeling Josh and Tilly's relationship? Let me know what you think.**

 **Please Review :D**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey Guys, just wanted to let you know up here that after this chapter I don't know when I'll next update. These last two chapters took me hella long to write, and for the last week I've not been home and haven't time to write any new chapters. I'm also currently on uni holidays which will be coming to an end in about a week, and I have an assignment due soon that I really need to work on. So although I love writing this story and wish it was the only thing I needed to do, that can't be the case. Sorry.**

 **Anyway, thanks to those who are reviewing, and I hope you like this chapter :)**

"What do you mean that woman and her daughter are going to come live with you?" Rachel asked trying to understand what her boyfriend had just told her. She had to have heard him wrong, no sane man would think that was an okay thing to do while he was in a relationship.

"Not live, stay. And only for a month," Josh replied. This wasn't a thing, why was she making it a thing?

"A month? A month! You can't be serious," she said angrily. Normal house guests don't stay for a month. And no house guest of Josh's had ever stayed more than a couple of days. But Rachel should have known- Donna wasn't 'normal'.

"What's the problem?" Josh asked. He was doing a good thing. Donna had come to him for help and that's what he was doing. Maybe going a little above and beyond, but if he did any less, how was he going to be able to sleep at night?

"The problem is that your ex-girlfriend is going to be down the hall from you for the next thirty days" Rachel said, God how could such an intelligent man be so dense?

"What are you talking about? We never dated," he questioned. Donna was a lot of things to Josh, but much to his displeasure, girlfriend was never one of them.

"That makes it worse," Rachel said. Deep crushes were hard things to get over. You're always stuck thinking about the 'what if's and the what could have been's, that you build it up so much that you'd do anything for a taste of it, and reality was never as sweet as fantasy.

"How?" He asked, she wasn't making any sense. And he still had no idea what the big deal was.

"Because you were in love with her, how can you not see that?" she explained. She hated being this girl. The insecure girl. The judging girl. The jealous girl. This was not who she was, and who she did not want to be.

"I was not," he replied quickly, and he truly believed that.

"As good as," Rachel countered. The stories he had told her only pointed to one thing, and it wasn't that they were just super dooper best friends. "You know what, do what you want. I just wish you would have talked to me about it," she surrendered, there was no point fighting. What's done was done. She picked up her handbag ready to make her exit.

"I'm talking with you now," Josh said.

"Before, Josh. You should have talked to me before," she breathed out. "I'll see you later," Rachel said as she kissed him quickly on the cheek and left.

"Rach," he called out, but she didn't stop. Had he made a mistake is asking Donna to stay with him? He had not intended for this to affect his relationship, he just wanted to do a good deed. Why was this going to blow up in his face. He knew he had done the right thing, maybe gone about it the wrong way. But while he and Donna had been at the park it seemed like a time sensitive issue that had to be acted on immediately.

He didn't know how long he had been cradling his head in his hands, but there soon came a knock on the door. Part of him thought it was Rachel coming back to apologise, but a smaller part of him knew that she had nothing to apologise for, so he doubted it was her. Which meant it was probably the only other option.

"Hey,' Josh said answering the door and holding it open for Donna and Tilly.

"Hi Josh," Tilly said running straight passed him, she had her backpack on, and her stuffed donkey in her arms.

"You need a hand?" Josh asked, seeing Donna lugging in a suitcase.

"As everything I own is in that car, that would be great," Donna said as she rolled the bag down the hall into the living room. When Donna came back, Josh was standing in the same spot. He most likely didn't want to go into Donna's car by himself, thinking for sure it would be an invasion of privacy.

Donna walked passed him, and Josh sheepishly followed. "What needs to be bought in?" Josh asked as Donna opened the back of the car.

"Definitely the suitcases. But really everything, I don't want it left in the car for too long," Donna explained. She assumed Westport was a safe town, but you could never be too careful. If her car was stolen she would have been left with almost nothing.

"Kay," Josh said, taking out one of the bags.

He didn't say much as they continued unloading the car. He was just thinking about what Rachel had just said. Had she been right. Was it a mistake to ask Donna to stay with him? Did he still have those same feelings for Donna? Wasn't being in this close a proximity with one another, just playing with fire? To which he would surely be burned by.

"Are you okay?" Donna asked, reading Josh's face. He looked pained, like he was overthinking something, or he had a problem he didn't know how to fix.

"Yeah, fine," he replied. He really didn't want to tell Donna about his fight with Rachel. If Donna knew they were fighting about her, then she would take it upon herself to leave before things became too tense between any of them. Josh could handle having a fight with Rachel, he wasn't sure if he could handle Donna leaving him again. "Just glad you got here safely," he said in a half-truth.

"You'd tell me if something was the matter though?" Donna asked. There was once a time where that was a given, but now she was worried he'd bottle things up in the aim not to scare her off.

"Course," Josh replied. Though he wasn't sure if that was the truth anymore. Why did Rachel have to say all those things? Josh was quite happy living in his delusions. He wanted things to be simple between him and Donna, though maybe that was easier said than done. Especially seeing as now they were basically living together for the next month. "What's this?" Josh asked as he picked up Tilly's stuffed toy that was on the coffee table.

"That's Dusty," Tilly replied. "It's mine," she said smiling at Josh. She wasn't all that possessive, she wasn't the type to just steal something out of his hands because it was hers, she understood that he was just looking.

"You have good taste," he said inspecting the donkey. Trust Donna's kid to have the symbol of the Democratic party for a plush friend.

"It was Momma's," Tilly explained.

"Well, she has good taste too," Josh said, he could now see how old the toy really looked, even though it was still in good condition. It was almost a family heirloom of sorts, and he thought that was the cutest things he'd ever seen. He didn't have any toys from his childhood, but if he did he would have liked to have passed them on to his own child one day.

"Til," Donna called out, she waited until her daughter was looking and then subtly nodded over to Josh.

Tilly took her cue and went to where Josh was sitting. Josh wasn't sure what Tilly was doing when she wrapped her arms around him, he soon realised it was a hug and melted into it. "Thank you for letting us stay here, Josh," Tilly said sweetly, and Josh held on to her tighter.

He promised himself that he wasn't going to cry. Grown men don't cry from a hug, so neither was he. But by God, was it difficult. He didn't want to let her go. Why was he feeling so much for a little human that wasn't his? Was it because she was Donna's, or because Tilly was the sweetest, most adorable person he had ever laid eyes on? Or was it because her hugs were so damn good?

Josh gave Tilly a little kiss on the cheek, and the whole scene just gave Donna the serene feeling that she had done something right. Which was exactly what she needed at that current moment. It had been hard not to get carried away by how fast everything had been moving. They would have only left Madison a little over a week ago, and now they were staying with Josh. It was a near whirlwind.

It seemed that Josh really loved Tilly. And it seemed like from the moment he had met her he had loved her. Which was exactly how Donna had felt when Tilly was born. There would have been very few people she completely trusted with the care of her daughter, but she trusted Josh 100%. If she had to run out to get something, she would have felt comfortable leaving them both together.

As soon as Tilly and Josh pulled away from their hug, Josh's mood seemed to change. He was no longer bogged down by his conversation with Rachel, he just wanted to enjoy the fact that Donna and Tilly were there. And so, he did.

…

When Josh woke up the next morning he padded down the hall quietly careful not to wake his guests. Before going into the kitchen to make a pot of coffee, he looked in on the two sleeping bodies. Tilly was curled up into Donna, like a Mama bear protecting her cub. They both looked so cuddly and peaceful, he didn't know if he was more jealous of, Donna or Tilly.

After eating breakfast and filling up his travel mug, Josh went back into the living room to wake Donna. "Hey," he said gently shaking her awake.

"What?" Donna said as she came out of her slumber, she was slightly confused to wake up and see Josh, but then it all came back to her. "Yeah?"

"I'm heading to work now, I'll let you know what time I'll get home," Josh said. He thought Donna looked unbelievably cute in her just woke up confusion. He thought it was unfair, when he woke up he looked like he hadn't slept in four days, but she looked like a goddess.

"Thanks for letting me know," she smiled, and he walked away. She tried to go back to sleep after the front door closed, but she was up, so she thought she might as well stay up.

…

It was about halfway through the day when Donna received a text from Josh.

 **Going to Rach's tonight. Sorry.**

She wasn't all that surprised. He wanted to spend the night with his girlfriend it wasn't a big deal, it was completely understandable. Though it did feel a little strange to be in Josh's house without him. But she had to get used to that fast, because the next day she also received this.

 **I'll be at Rachel's for dinner.**

Again, she couldn't be all that mad, maybe this was a normal occurrence, how was she to know what was normal for Josh anymore.

Although she was already in bed, she could hear when Josh came home. Seeing the lights were off, Josh didn't bother to trek further into the house than the bathroom and his bedroom.

The next morning Josh gently woke Donna up again. He sighed when he looked at Tilly and Donna wrapped up in bed. He'd missed them for the last two days. He wanted to see them, it was why he had invited them to stay.

"Hey, sorry about the last two nights," he whispered. He kept his voice low as to not wake Matilda.

"Are you sure you want us to stay here?" Donna asked, she was getting nervous. A night was one thing, two felt like it was part of a bigger reason.

"Yes, of course I do," he said, his voice raising to emphasize his point. "It's just Rachel, she wants me over there. I'm not hiding from you," he explained, and that satisfied Donna's anxiety over the situation.

"Josh," Tilly said happily as she woke. She hadn't seen him since Sunday night, and she was wondering if she had made him up.

"Ooph," Donna groaned as Tilly crawled over her.

"Hey Munchkin," Josh said as the little girl wrapped her arms around him.

"Where have you been?" Tilly asked as she settled down in between Donna and Josh. "I've missed you," she said, pursing her lips for effect. And she had, for the last week she had seen Josh nearly every day, and it had been strange not seeing him. Of course, she hadn't been waiting at the door for him each night, but she had asked her mother where he was quite a bit.

"I'm going to be here tonight," Josh said.

"Don't say that, if you can't promise it," Donna replied, she really didn't want to get her, or Tilly's hopes up for an appearance if it wasn't to be.

"I promise," Josh said, placing both hands on Tilly's cheeks. "But I have to go now," and with that he stood up ready to go. "I'll see you two _tonight_ ," he said pointing at both of them. He nodded at Donna, so she knew he was telling the truth.

As Josh walked down the hall he heard Tilly's laughter, and Donna's sweet voice and wished he could stay. It had been a long time since he thought about having a family, but since Donna had come back, the nagging feeling that something was missing in his life kept gnawing at him. He just wished he could have known that what he wanted was even a remote possibility.

…

When Rachel walked in in front of Josh, Donna wasn't at all stunned. It was as if she was marking her territory, like Donna didn't already know. When Donna had met Rachel, she had seemed so nice, but now she was staking her claim, letting Donna know that she was Josh's girlfriend and not her, Donna though, did not need a reminder.

Josh had not warned Donna that Rachel would be coming over, so it was lucky that Donna had cooked enough food for tomorrow's lunch otherwise someone would have been going hungry. Donna was civil to Rachel, and Rachel was relatively civil to Donna. Both not wanting to let on that they were jealous of the other. Donna was jealous because her feelings for Josh had started back up the moment she walked into his office. And Rachel was jealous because deep down she could tell that there was a ticking clock on her relationship with Josh, but she wasn't ready to give up without a fight.

"Anyone up for a movie?" Josh asked after he was scraping his plate clean. He could feel the tension in the room, and just maybe this could defuse it.

Josh's couch wasn't all that big, it could fit two people comfortably, three if you squeezed, though only if the third was Tilly. But the third was not Tilly, it was Rachel. Or was Donna the third? Josh and Rachel had probably sat together here hundreds of times, it felt strange that Donna was the outsider in the group, that had rarely been the case when she and Josh were together.

Tilly had tried fitting in-between Josh and her Mom, but there wasn't enough room, so she curled up on Donna's lap, her feet resting upon Josh's thigh. The movie they had picked to watch, wasn't exactly age appropriate, but there was no blood or guts, so Donna thought it would be fine for Tilly.

When Josh turned the television on, the news had just started. Pictures of the President filled the screen. "Can we just watch this for a second," he apologised, unsurprisingly he liked to keep a top of the goings on in Washington.

"Do you think you'll ever go back?" Donna asked. It was a hard adjustment for Donna to come around to the idea that Josh wasn't in D.C. anymore. It had always seemed that that was the place he was meant to be.

"One day, I'm sure," Josh replied.

"What?" Rachel asked shocked those words came out her boyfriend's mouth. Never once in the year they'd been dating had he mentioned that to her, or maybe she hadn't asked.

"It's what I do," Josh said looking over to Rachel. She had to have known that it was always something he was going to think about. You could take the boy out of Washington, and all that. "Going back was always part of the plan," Josh added. In his mind moving back to Westport and teaching at Yale was a break, not a retirement. He'd run out of steam by the end of the Bartlet administration. But one day he'd have it in him again, it just wasn't now.

"When? Rachel asked.

"Probably the next open general," Josh replied. He hadn't thought too much of it yet, but he wanted to do what Leo did, take a dark horse and make them king.

"But, the election's next year," Rachel said shocked, she thought she would have heard about it by now if that were the case.

"Not really, with Vinick's polling numbers so high, there is no Democrat in the field that could beat him. Even with a campaign manager as good as Josh. You're better off waiting till 2014, or even the midterms," Donna said voicing her thoughts. She looked over to Josh and saw that little twinkle in his eye that he got when there was some good political banter. He'd most likely been sorely missing it.

"If I had the right guy I could beat Vinick," Josh shot back.

"Not now he's the incumbent," Donna countered.

"You're questioning my skills?" Josh asked jokingly.

"I have no doubt in your skills, but I also have no doubt that I'm right," Donna replied, smirking that she had won. That's how you won an argument against Josh- appease his intellect. And Donna had mastered that. She wouldn't have been able to get through a day as his assistant if she hadn't learnt that handy hint.

"And my Momma is always right," Tilly added in, though she wasn't really sure what the adults were talking about, she just wanted to be in on it.

"Oh, is she?" Josh asked and began tickling Tilly's feet, which caused the little girl to scream and wiggle around.

"Maybe we should start the movie," Rachel said, not wanting to stop the fun, but it was awkward not being apart of it.

"Huh?" Josh said, only just hearing what she had to say. He quickly played Rachel's words back and realised what they were. "Ah, yeah," he added and reached for the remote, hit some buttons and the movie began to play.

Donna knew exactly why Rachel had insisted on beginning the movie. It was because Donna and Josh had that political bond that Rachel never would. Donna wasn't even jealous when Josh stretched his arm out and pulled Rachel close. Because when he did he smiled to Donna, and she knew it was just something he had to do. And right now, Donna would rather cuddle with Tilly anyway.

They were all mostly quiet during the film, it was a mixture of awkward silence and watching a movie silence, but it certainly wasn't a comfortable silence. Donna could feel Rachel's eyes every so often glancing at her, so Donna kept as far away from Josh as the sofa allowed.

When the movie credits started rolling, Josh looked over and noticed Tilly completely knocked out and sleeping in her mother's arms. It was a sight to see. He saw the time and realised that it was not surprising that Tilly didn't make it through the movie. "Guess it's someone's bedtime," Josh said standing up.

"Yeah," Donna replied, she looked around not sure how she was going to manage that with Tilly already asleep in her hold.

"I got her," Josh said scooping Tilly out of Donna's arms, careful not to wake the child. Tilly settled into him straight away.

Rachel noticed how comfortable Josh was with Tilly. She had never thought Josh was all that much of a kid guy, and she was glad to find out that he was, she just wished she was finding out a different way.

Donna stood up and pulled out the bed, Rachel did not help. Donna threw the pillows on to the mattress, and Josh lightly placed Tilly down. Donna unfolded the blanket and let it gently fall over Tilly. Josh then pulled it a little to make sure it was securely covering the girl. It looked as if they had done this a thousand times, that it was set routine, and yet this was their first.

"I'm going to work in the kitchen," Donna said grabbing her laptop, not wanting to be left alone with both Josh and Rachel in what was quickly becoming another awkward silence.

"Night," Rachel said.

"Yeah, night," Donna replied before near running out the room.

Josh walked Rachel down the hall, so they were away from the sleeping Tilly. Rachel's arms were crossed like she knew she was being kicked out. "Do you want to come back to my place?" She asked, hoping that Josh would answer in the affirmative.

"Not tonight," Josh replied kissing her quickly on the lips. "I'm about to crash," he half apologised, and he was, it had been a long day, and he was near falling asleep by the end of the movie. He knew Rachel had an early morning, nor a change a clothes, so he didn't bother asking if she wanted to stay the night. That of course upset her.

"Fine, I'll see you tomorrow," Rachel said as she turned and headed for the door. Josh could tell she was angry, but he didn't know how to fix it. A smart man would follow her. But at this moment he was not a smart man.

Why was he so willing to throw his relationship with Rachel away for something he wasn't even sure was there with Donna. He really needed to check his priorities, because right now they were skewing, and he was starting to be fine with the tilt.

"She doesn't like me," Donna said, as Josh walked into the kitchen, she didn't even bother to look up from her laptop screen.

"She doesn't know you," Josh replied. Which was true, no one who knew Donna could really truly dislike her, it was one of life's impossibilities.

"That's not it," she countered, she knew what a jealous girlfriend looked like, and she especially knew what a jealous girlfriend of Josh looked like. And Rachel was fitting that bill. "If she wasn't comfortable with me staying here, why did you offer?"

"Well, I…ah," Josh stammered and looked sheepishly at Donna.

"You didn't ask her?" Donna said dumbfounded. That man could be a real idiot at times. Did he even want to be in a relationship?

"It's my house," Josh said, as if that was enough of answer. Donna decided not to push it. She should be on Josh's side in this. Josh's side meant a roof over her head for the night. But she knew if the roles were reversed and she was in Rachel's situation she wouldn't like their arrangement one bit. "What are you doing?" Josh asked coming around the bench and standing behind her.

"Fixing up my C.V.," Donna said, going back to what she was doing. She was just fixing fonts and margins. It wasn't much, but she felt like it was more productive than staring at the screen doing nothing. And formatting was important. It made a good first impression. And that made all the difference in the job search.

Josh's hand rested on the opposite side of Donna chair, and he leaned into better be able to read the screen. "You finished university? And majored in Political Science?" Josh asked surprised as he skimmed the Word document.

"Yeah," she said quickly turning to Josh, and then turning back when she realised how close he actually was.

"How? When?" he asked. How could she have possibly had the time?

"Took a class a semester until I had enough credits," she answered. She slowly switched between fonts, a happy distraction from Josh's proximity. How was it legal that he could stand so close to her, and yet not understand the effects that could have?

"I'm impressed," Josh replied. And he was. Juggling school work, a young child, sick parents, and a job would have been quite the handful. He couldn't imagine when she had time to sleep. But then again, she'd had a lot of practice while working at the White House.

"Why doesn't Rachel like me?" Donna asked. She thought she knew the answer, but she wondered if he knew. She turned to him, and their eyes met. Her breath slowed, and she wasn't sure if she could get her lungs to work properly. He was so close; a slight lean in and she could have everything she had ever wanted.

"She thinks I still have feelings for you," Josh answered. He wanted to be honest with her. He didn't think about how it would add to the tension. And boy, did it add to the tension.

"Oh," Donna said as if he hadn't just dropped a bombshell on her. And although it was what she was expecting him to answer she really didn't think he would say it, but she was so glad he did. It wasn't as if he had confirmed anything, so she shouldn't have thought too much about what he had just said. Well, maybe not until she was trying to go to sleep.

Josh thought Donna's reaction was anti-climactic, and he realised he maybe said a bit too much and quickly moved away. "I should go to bed," he stammered, taking a few steps back and rubbing his forehead.

"Same," she said closing her laptop. Her mind was racing, and it was all she could think to say. They both needed an out and she was definitely going to take Josh up on the one he created. They could sleep on it, pretend nothing happened, wait until the light of day to bring it up.

"Alright, I'll, ah, see you in the morning," Josh said backing out of the kitchen awkwardly.

"Um, yeah, night," she replied. They both looked at each other, smiling and trying to play it cool as they exited the room via different doors.

When she was in the safety of the living room, Donna was kicking herself. Why hadn't she said anything? Why had she left it up in the air? Why had she let it get to that point, only to push it aside? Was she stupid? She knew that arguably she was quite intelligent, but in that moment, she had been downright dumb. She should have done something, yelled to know the truth, or told him what she really thought.

She couldn't let this moment go, she needed to do something. She started down the hall, not sure if she was making the right decision. When she reached his door, she had to take a moment to summon the courage to knock. It felt like an eternity had passed when she finally tapped. It was light, she wasn't even sure he would have been able to hear it.

"Yeah?" he called out.

She slowly opened his door, careful not to make it creak. He was sitting on the corner of his bed, clad only in a pair of boxers, he was comfortable enough not to cover himself up. Donna took a step in, closing the door again behind her.

"Do you?" Donna asked into the darkness as she stood against the door. Her words were no louder than a whisper, but Josh could feel the weight behind them. He could lose everything if he said the wrong thing. The problem was he didn't even know what he was afraid of losing if he did. Was it Rachel? Or was it Donna? Josh stood up, took three steps to close the distance between them. He brushed a strand of hair away from her face, and Donna trembled at his touch. "Do you?" She asked again, even softer.

There was no space between them, and Donna had her answer, but she wanted to hear it from him. She wanted to hear him say the words. She didn't want to infer, she wanted to know the truth.

He wanted to answer her, honestly, but he was scared. It wasn't as if he knew how she felt about him. Aside from coming into his room, she hadn't dropped any hints. Of course, she wasn't currently revolted by his touch, so that also could have given him his answer, but he wasn't thinking clearly enough to realise that.

His hand ran down her skin until he reached the top button of her shirt. Although it was fiddly, he was able to get it undone with some ease. "Josh?" Donna breathed, she wasn't trying to stop him, she just wanted to know how he was feeling.

"Please don't leave me like last time," Josh said looking deeply into her eyes, and Donna shook her head, knowing he needed to know she wouldn't. Not again.

 **Last time? When was last time? What happened last time? Will they continue with how things are heading currently, or will one or both stop before it's too late to go back?**

 **Let me know what you think,**

 **Please Review :D**


	7. Chapter 7

**God, I really hope you like this chapter, feels like it took me ages to write, but thats because of all the reasons stated in the previous chapter (which still apply)**

 **And now we pick up right where we left off...Enjoy :)**

"Josh," Donna breathed as he took hold of her lips with his.

"No talking," he said as he briefly removed himself from Donna.

"But-" She started but was soon cut off.

"That's talking," Josh smiled.

Donna had been so caught up in the moment that she had let it happen. But she needed to put a stop to it. And fast. She couldn't let this continue as is, not matter how much she enjoyed his lips on hers. Or how she tingled as his hands ran up and down her body. "I think talking's what we actually need to do," she managed to get out.

"About?" Josh asked, he wasn't 100% listening to what she was saying.

"Last time," she said, and instantly Josh stopped cold and pulled away from her. "I mean, it's the elephant in the room, isn't it?" Donna added. And it was, to truly understand how Josh and Donna had gotten to this place you had to know about 'last time'. It was an important chapter in the story that was them, that neither of them had been willing to talk about thus far. Donna because she didn't want to say anything until Josh did, and Josh because he wanted things to remain easy between them. But now, things didn't seem like they were going to stay _easy_ for much longer.

"Yeah," he said, the emotion in his voice hard to find. He stumbled back to the bed and took a seat. Donna wasn't sure if she should sit next to him or just plant herself on the ground where she stood. Either way seemed awkward. But she wanted to be close to him and decided that the ground wouldn't suffice. "So…"

 _April 2004_

" _Josh," Donna called out as she entered his home. His door had been unlocked, so she was easily able to get inside. She knew he was here before she came over. She'd called his office three times to make sure he wasn't in a meeting._

" _What are you doing here?" Josh asked as he came out of his bedroom. He wasn't happy to see her, he just wanted to sit in the comfort of his own home and wallow. It's why he wasn't at a bar right now. He didn't want to talk to anybody. And he especially didn't want to talk to Donna. She was the reason he was like this. Nothing she could say would be able to change that._

" _We have to talk," Donna said. She couldn't leave like this. Not knowing he was so angry at her. She wanted to be civil. She wanted to know she could still consider him her best friend or be able to call him just to talk. She needed that. But she knew he needed it just as much._

" _You're leaving. What's there to talk about?" He asked as he sat down on his sofa, not wanting to look at her anymore. He hated her. He really did. How could she leave him for that guy? That guy wasn't good enough for her. No one was good enough for her. He didn't even think he was._

" _Everything," Donna said as she sat on the armrest of the same sofa. It was easy to tell Josh wanted some distance, but this was the best she could do. She wasn't leaving until they had things sorted out._

 _She had tried to explain to him a thousand times why she was leaving, though he had always seemed disinterested. She knew that was more because Josh didn't want to acknowledge things were going to change. There was a very large chance that he didn't think she would leave and hadn't come to terms with it yet._

 _But she_ _ **was**_ _leaving. She had packed up all her things, given up her apartment, and she and David had rented out a place in Madison. Everything was all set. Except for being on a good footing with Josh._

 _It was all moving so fast. It hadn't seemed that long since her father had called her about her mother's declining health, and that David had proposed. If she was honest, when she had first started seeing her now fiancé she hadn't seen a future with him, he was something to occupy her time, and it had felt nice to be wanted again. But things had unexpectantly become serious, and he was the one to suggest moving to Madison to take care of her parents. Of course, Donna had thought about it before he bought it up, but it had seemed so unfeasible before they worked out the logistics together._

 _David had been a better friend to Donna during this time than Josh had. It was why she felt like she was making the right decision. Not only was she extremely worried about her mother, she was also terrified to leave the White House and the life she had spent years making in D.C., but she was doing the right thing. She just wished Josh could have been more supportive in her time of need. Was that such a hard thing to ask for?_

 _Donna slid down to be sitting level with Josh. "Please just talk to me," she pleaded with him. They had been best friends for so long, he had to know how much this uncommunicative thing he had going was hurting her._

" _I don't know how anymore," Josh confided solemnly, and cradled his head in his hands. Donna was the person he could trust more than anybody else in his life, and this was the biggest betrayal he could have ever imagined._

" _Josh, it's me. Come on, look at me," she said reaching out for him. "Look at me," she begged as she cupped his neck. She'd never really seen him like this, maybe once or twice before but there was a completely valid and different reason for that. She wanted to help, but she had no idea how._

" _Donna, stop," he said removing her hand with force. "Just go," he said quietly, not really meaning it. He didn't want her to go, that was why he felt so depressed right now, because she was going. His behaviour didn't scare her, but it made her unbelievably upset. Her eyes glistened as the unshed tears began to form._

" _No. I can't leave knowing I don't have your support," she said. Josh made her feel invincible, like she could conquer the world. If it wasn't for Josh she wouldn't have had the confidence to stay in Manchester for the campaign, she wouldn't have moved to D.C., and she wouldn't be the woman she was today._

 _Josh looked at her, he could see how much she was trying, how much she wanted his approval, and he couldn't handle breaking her heart, even though right now she was doing that to him. "I'll always support you. I love you," he said so casually that you wouldn't have known that was the first time he had said that to Donna._

" _I love you too," Donna said, replying almost instantly, not thinking there was a deeper meaning behind the words._

 _Josh took Donna's hand in his, looked her squarely in the eyes so she could understand exactly what he was trying to say. "No, Donna, I'm in love with you," he confessed. His eyes began to sting, and his chest constricted. He didn't think he had ever really said those words before, not to someone as important to him as Donna was. But why was he saying them now? Because it was looking like the last chance he'd have, or because he'd never forgive himself for not saying them, or did he think it would make her stay if she knew?_

 _It took her a moment, only because she couldn't believe Josh had just said those words to her. It was all she had ever wanted to hear, but where were they a year ago, or even six months. Why was everything always so unspoken between them until it was too late. She was sick of misdirection games, and the double meanings. Finally, they were being open with each other._

 _For once in her life Donna stopped caring about the consequences of what would happen if they finally acted on their feelings, and she near pounced on to his lips. She had wanted to taste them for so long, that there was no holding back anymore._

 _Josh only took a second to adjust to the attack, it should have felt strange to have Donna on him like this, but it felt like the most natural and glorious thing in the world. As his hands wrapped around the back of her neck to pull her closer, her hair tickled his skin. He didn't care about the need for breathing, because the need for Donna was much more important._

" _You know I'm in love with you as well, right?" Donna clarified as she pulled away from him. She needed him to know that. She didn't want him to think she was jumping his bones because of what he said, she wanted him to know she felt the same._

" _I had an inkling," he grinned cockily and then went right on kissing her. She had the softest lips he had ever felt, and if he never had to stop kissing them, he'd have been the happiest man alive. His hands snaked up the back of her shirt, her skin was warm to the touch and yet he could feel goose bumps._

 _He pulled her into him, he needed her as close as she could be. Donna's fingers started on the buttons on his dress shirt. She hadn't been looking but she undid them with perfect precision. Josh wiggled out of his shirt careful not to break contact between them._

 _There he was sitting in his undershirt and pants, and knew they were both wearing too much. Suddenly that was all he cared about. And he was on a mission. In perfect synchronisation he pulled Donna up with him, and they quickly made their way through his apartment, not once becoming detached._

 _His calves hit the bed first, causing him to fall and bring Donna down along with him, but that didn't worry either of them, it was where they were headed anyway. Josh peeled Donna's top off, and then flipped her so she was underneath him._

 _She could tell he had all the control and she liked that. She smiled up at him, and he took that as a cue and pulled the zipper of her pants. He had her. He had all of her. It was all he ever wanted. He couldn't believe it was happening. It was like a dream. One he was going to take his time to enjoy._

…

 _That bliss happy look spread across both their faces and neither of them had ever felt better. They didn't think about anything but the other and how happy they were to be here right now. Josh couldn't believe it. If Donna wasn't currently lying on his chest then he would be in total doubt that anything had occurred. After all he'd had many a dream that had felt this real. Not this good, but definitely this real._

 _Josh tightened his hold on her, never wanting to let Donna out of his arms. She fit near perfectly into him, a sign that this was always meant to happen. "You know, we didn't really get a chance to talk," Donna laughed. She had not expected any of this to happen when she came over, but she was beyond glad it had._

" _I don't think that really matters anymore," Josh grinned._

" _What do you mean?" Donna asked rolling over to look at him, her chin rested upon his bare chest._

" _I mean, now that we've, you know, it changes things," Josh stammered._

" _Josh…" Donna said hesitating to continue._

" _Wait. You're still going?" Josh was dumbstruck. He thought for sure Donna couldn't leave now. Not after what had just happened._

" _I have to-" she said, but Josh didn't want to hear excuses. He didn't even want to touch her. He slid out from under her to get his escape. "Josh," Donna tried._

" _You don't have to, you think just because that moron proposed you're doing what you're meant to," he said, and then looked down to her left hand. She was still wearing the ring. And of course she was. David was giving her the things she wanted, the things Josh wasn't sure he could offer her. Or wasn't ready to._

" _That's not fair," Donna replied. That wasn't why she was leaving, and he knew it. If her parents weren't sick and David had still proposed she'd never have been leaving the White House, D.C., or Josh. She'd never have dreamed about moving back to Wisconsin for any other reason. Her life and career were in Washington. Everything she knew was here, it was one of the hardest decisions she had made to move back. The only thing that rivalled it was joining the campaign._

" _Isn't it?" He asked as he pulled his boxer shorts up. He should have known one day she'd leave him again. He should have never gotten close to her after she had betrayed his trust the first time. "You're insecure, you always have been. One man shows you a little attention, and you're a dog with a bone. Never mind who you're hurting, or that he's not the right guy for you, or that this will end up being the worst decision you'll ever make. You're the same girl I met in New Hampshire. Naïve and flighty," he said harshly, and all those words hit Donna like a tonne of bricks._

 _She should have run out of there. She didn't need him in her life if this is what he thought of her. But she couldn't. She couldn't leave it like this. She couldn't leave him like this. "You're angry, you don't mean that," she said, saying it mostly it for herself._

" _How the hell do you know what I mean?" Josh asked._

" _Because-" she began, not sure if she should say the next part or not. But what the hell. "Because you love me," she finished. And Josh just stared at her gobsmacked. As if he couldn't believe those words came out her mouth. He didn't know if she was throwing his words back in his face, or just reminding him of how things were just an hour ago. Josh sat on the corner of the bed, cradling his head in hands, yet again. It seemed to be a common occurrence, and every time was because of Donna._

 _Donna wanted to wrap her arms around him, to comfort him, but she really didn't want to do that naked. She found her blouse and pants that had been thrown off and got dressed quickly, not bothering to put her bra back on. She then slowly came up behind him, she was cautious with him not knowing how he would react. "Don't," Josh said, and Donna flinched. "Leave," and Donna almost did, but Josh continued. "Don't leave me."_

" _I'm sorry," Donna said holding on to him again. She felt like she had a million things to apologise for, but knew no words were ever going to be good enough. The one person in her life she knew would never leave her, and now she was leaving him. Life was cruel sometimes._

" _It's not enough," Josh said shrugging her off of him. He stood and then left the bedroom. Donna gave it a minute and then followed. She found him in the kitchen popping off a bottlecap to the beer he was holding._

" _Got one for me?" Donna asked lightly, trying to defuse the tension._

" _I think you've take enough from me, don't you?" Josh replied bitterly as he brushed passed her, moving into the living room._

" _Can't we be civil?" She followed._

" _Civility flew out the window in there," Josh said as he weakly pointed in the direction of his bedroom._

" _It's a three-hour flight, you can come up and visit," Donna suggested, hell she would come and visit him every month, if that's what he wanted. She'd even drive if the flights were one day cancelled. The drive wasn't even that long, in the grand scheme of things._

" _I don't want to come up and visit," Josh shot back, as if Donna even suggesting it was the most ludicrous thing imaginable._

" _You don't want to keep in touch?" She asked. Even before what happened tonight, Donna couldn't imagine not having Josh in some way part of her life. Even if they just called each other once a week or month. Going without seeing him was going to be hard, but not talking to him hadn't even seemed like a possibility up until this moment._

" _Right now, I don't really care," he said apathetically. His mind was an imbroglio, a complete mess. He wished none of what had happened this evening had ever transpired. All he had wanted to do was wallow. And now he was so confused and angry he was starting to feel nothing at all._

" _Oh," Donna said, not trusting anything that could have come out of her mouth. She was hurt, and she could tell that so was he, but he was being cruel. She didn't deserve this. All she had wanted was to end on good terms, the complete opposite to how things were turning out. "Can I ask why?"_

" _Why the hell do you think?" he said, meeting Donna in the eyes. They were both too proud to let the tears they were holding fall._

" _I should go," Donna said. She didn't want to. But just looking at Josh she knew that there was nothing she could do tonight that would help._

" _If you walk out that door I never want to see you again," Josh growled, and he meant it. If she left she wasn't picking him, and he didn't need a reminder of that._

" _Josh," she said, not thinking he was serious._

" _Never," he reiterated angrily._

" _Well then, that's your choice," she replied. If this was how he was going to act, maybe it was a good thing she was leaving. Instead of waiting for him to say something else Donna reached for the door handle. She looked at him, her eyes glistening with beg. But he still didn't say anything. "Bye Josh," Donna said as she turned the knob and left the apartment._

 _The door closed with a light click, even though the scene warranted a nice loud slam for emphasis. Donna stood there paralysed. Not believing how things had turned out. If she knew this was how things were going to end between them, she never would have come over tonight._

 _It tarnished their whole relationship, this was not the way it should have ended. They had had so many good times together that this seemed like a tragedy. They had had a lot of hard times too, but they'd always gotten through them, together. But now this was it. This was the end. No more Josh and Donna._

 _Donna leaned up against the door, hoping to play out a bit from a romantic comedy where the person inside opens the door up in a panic of losing the other and she'd fall to the ground. But neither gravity, nor Josh, let her tumble._

 _She could feel his presence still, and she could bet if she looked through the peep hole Josh's eye would be all she could see. But she also knew he was going to be too head-strong to come through the door to get her. She placed her palm up against the wood, pretending it was Josh's hand she was touching, and waited for a minute, just hoping he would change his mind._

 _But he didn't. The door handle didn't turn, the light creeping under the door didn't show any movement, and Josh didn't make a sound. She got the message. So, she left._

And until a week ago she had kept to his wishes.

They both remembered that night for different reasons. For Josh it was the night that his world seemingly ended. The night the woman he loved most in the world disappeared. The night that he said countless things he wished he could take back.

For Donna, though she obviously didn't know it at the time, it was the night that she and Josh conceived Tilly.

 **How's that for a game changer?**

 **I'd love to know what you thought of this chapter, or the ending, or anything. Do you think one is more in the wrong, or do the share the blame. Do you think either of them have gotten over this in the last five years, or is it bubbling close to the surface.**

 **Please Review :D**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey Guys, I am so unbelievably sorry about the lack of updates over the last month, but uni is kicking my butt. I've barely had time do anything not uni related, plus I've also moved house since my last update, so I've been a little stressed. But I love writing this story, so never doubt an update is soon to come.**

 **I hope you enjoy.**

Josh stared at Donna, she had the talent of being the only one to heal old wounds and yet seemingly rip them open, as well. It was why he'd loved her so much. Why he was so distraught when she left him, and why he was over the moon when she came back. But here they were again. Right at the precipice of disaster. Where she could ruin him. And he would let her.

"I didn't mean it," Josh said, he needed her to know that. There were very few times in his life that he wished to take back. But this was one of them.

"Oh," Donna squeaked out. She couldn't have known what he was going to say, but she really didn't expect to hear that.

"It was the heat of the moment," he replied.

"Right," she tried to get out. Her chest felt heavy, and she was determined not to let any tears form.

"If I weren't so angry, I'd never have done it," he said, and he could tell Donna was trying not to look at him.

"I understand," she lied. Because really, she couldn't. She didn't want to be that girl who thought one night meant more than it did. But it had to. She couldn't have read it that wrong. She wouldn't have been overanalysing it for the last five year if it meant nothing. She thought she knew Josh, but could she be that wrong?

"Donna," Josh said, taking her hand in his. She suddenly seemed so distant. He was trying to get her to understand. He was doing the right thing. Why did it seem like the last thing in the world that she wanted to hear? "What's wrong?"

She took a moment before answering. Mostly to gain the courage, but also to compose herself. "You didn't mean it?" She asked, her tone seething with mild anger. "Do you regret it as well?"

"Yeah, of course I do," he replied putting extra emphasis on his words, but also not picking up on the shift in her demeanour.

"It was a mistake?"

"It was, the biggest of my life" he agreed, not realising she was asking him, and didn't actually think that. All he needed was for Donna to understand his side and then all would be right with the world.

"And you'd take it back if you could?"

"Absolutely," he said definitively.

That was enough for Donna. She could no longer sit by and listen to how the man she loved for a majority of her adult life thought that their one night together was a complete and utter disappointment. How could he be so dense? This was on par with a slap in the face or like being told you were bad in bed, which to an extent it was. And if he felt like that why the hell had he been kissing her not that long ago.

"I should go to bed," Donna said. She wanted to yell at him. But she also wanted to breakdown and cry in his arms. She stood up and started to make her exit.

"But we didn't get to talk," Josh said, he couldn't understand why she was leaving. She after all was the one who wanted to have this conversation, he was quite happy continuing with where things were headed.

"You think I want to talk about how us having sex was the biggest regret in your life," Donna said turning back around to look at him. Now she was ready to yell.

"Wait… What?" Josh stammered.

"How could you seriously believe I would want to hear this?" She asked as she crossed her arms over her chest feeling suddenly super exposed.

Josh quickly played their conversation back over to see what he said that was so bad, but soon realised that a miscommunication was at the root of the problem. There was no way he could think that about their night together. It was one of the highs of his life. That didn't change because it was rapidly followed by one of his lows.

"Donna," he whispered as he stood and slowly made his way over to her.

"Don't," she said taking a step away from him.

"Donna," he smiled, his dimples showing. Although he wouldn't laugh, this was suddenly the funniest thing in the world to him, but then again, he was equipped with information that Donna was sorely lacking. And he knew if he didn't want to soon end up with a knee to the crotch, he would have to let Donna in on the joke.

"Josh, stop," she said, taking another step away. If she continued any further back she would be up against the door.

"Sex, with you, was not a mistake. I have never wanted to take it back, and the only thing I regret was that we only got to do it once," Josh said as he closed the distance between them with each word.

Donna was struck by his words, and yet still overly confused. His lips were just mere inches away from her and they were in the same position as they were before. And yet things seemed a lot clearer then than they did now. "What didn't you mean, then?"

"That I never wanted to see you again. I don't know why I said it. I don't even know how I could say it," Josh began as he brushed a piece of hair away from Donna's face. He needed her to understand. He needed to be clear or the same thing would happen again. "You were the most important person to me," he said willing her to believe him.

"Why did you say it?" She asked, she wanted to believe him, and she did, but it was hard to let go of a belief she'd been holding for five years.

"I was mad, and stupid. And you'd know better than anyone that that isn't a good combination in me," he said. Many a time she would have to fix his mistakes when she was his assistant. But those times would have been mild compared to that night.

"I believed you."

"I'm sorry," he apologised, he didn't know what else he could say, nothing seemed enough.

"It's okay," she smiled. "I've done stupid things too," she said. How could she not accept his apology for something that happened so long ago. Especially after all he was doing for her, and all she was keeping from him.

"Oh yeah, like what?" He asked leaning in and cockily smiling up at her.

"Momma?" Came from the other side of the door as if right on cue. Donna quickly turned into Mom mode. She and Josh weren't doing anything bad, but whatever they were doing she didn't want Tilly to see.

"Sorry," Donna said as she turned away. Josh took a few steps back understanding. Donna swiftly opened the door to see the little girl looking up at them with tears in her eyes. "What's wrong, Sweetie?" Donna asked crouching down to her daughter's level.

"I woke up and you were gone. I called out, but you didn't come," Tilly said, as she hugged her mother. They hadn't been staying at Josh's for that long, so it was understandable that Tilly would wake up scared when she was alone in the dark, especially when Donna was almost always next to her since they left Madison. "What were you doing?"

Donna quickly looked at Josh, she knew it would be highly inappropriate to tell a five-year-old the truth, but for the life of her, her mind was blank. "We were having a conversation," Josh interjected. It was true after all.

"What about?" Tilly asked, and this time it was Josh who looked like a deer in headlights. The topic of conversation was definitely not one for innocent ears.

"Why are you awake?" Donna asked completely bypassing Tilly's question.

"I was thirsty," she answered.

"Right," Donna said, usually at bed time Donna would leave a bottle of water by Tilly's bed, but with traveling and not being in the same place everyday they were starting to wain off their nightly routine. "Go back to bed, and I'll bring you something," Donna said and then stood back up and led Tilly back to the living room, Josh followed.

Josh took a glass from the cupboard and passed it to Donna. She smiled at him in response. No one said anything, and aside from the tap running, they were in silence. It was between and awkward one and a comfortable one.

"Here you go," Donna said as they walked to the living room and found Tilly sitting up in their bed.

"Thank you," Tilly said and then took a large gulp, she quickly handed it back to her mother.

"You all good now?" Donna asked, and Tilly nodded and settled back into bed.

Josh was unsure why he was still out here, he didn't need to follow Donna out, he really didn't need to help her in the kitchen, and he didn't think he had any ability to help her with Tilly, but he just didn't want to leave Donna yet, not with how things were going.

Donna started to stand up, when Tilly spoke again. "Where are you going?"

"Josh and I need to finish talking," Donna replied.

"But it's bedtime," Tilly countered. She wanted to cuddle up close to her mom, and that wouldn't happen if she went and continued with her boring adult conversation.

"Right, but-" Donna began, but was quickly cut off.

"You can talk in the morning. You can only sleep now," Tilly argued. Donna looked at Josh, she knew she was going to have to do what Matilda wanted, otherwise she would probably not want to go to sleep herself.

Josh nodded, understanding the predicament Donna was in. "We will talk tomorrow," he said, and began to turn away.

"Josh, can you tuck me in, please?" Tilly asked. Josh smiled widely as he turned back, he finally found the use of coming out here, and he was certainly happy to please.

"I'll just go get changed," Donna said as she took her pyjamas to the bathroom.

Josh was by no means the master at tuck ins, but he'd never really had the experience. Were you just meant to pull the blanket up over the child, say goodnight and leave, or was there something more? God help him if he had to tell a bedtime story. The last time he heard a bedtime story would have been when he was around Tilly's age. An age that happened to be a lot further away then he cared to admit.

"All good?" Josh asked as he pulled the blanket up over the little girl. He thought he did pretty well. The blankets weren't loose enough to fall off easily, or tight enough that she wouldn't be able to breathe.

"Thanks Josh," Tilly smiled and began to close her eyes.

"Good night, Munchkin," Josh said, placing a light kiss on her forehead.

Donna came out off the bathroom as Josh walked past. "Sorry," she said when she saw him.

"It's okay, like she said, we can talk in the morning," Josh replied. Though with how things were going in there before, he was sure they wouldn't have been just talking.

"Right, night," Donna said, but didn't make a step to leave.

"Night," Josh replied, and leaned in to give her a quick peck on the cheek, it would have to tide him over until morning. They stood looking at each other for a short time, before they both synchronically made their exit. Josh slipping into his room, and Donna back to the lounge.

All night Josh couldn't stop thinking about their kiss, and about how things were going. His eyes were glued to the door, his ears awaiting even the smallest detection of sound. He kept expecting Donna to come back into his bedroom, so they could pick up where they had left off. He didn't want to go to sleep just in case she did.

But he shouldn't have been having these feelings for her. He had a serious girlfriend after all. He didn't want to hurt Rachel, he loved her. But did he love Donna more? Right now, he knew the answer, but he knew for certain that he wasn't only thinking with his head and heart.

He wanted Donna. He had wanted Donna for almost ten years. And even when she wasn't in his life, he still thought of her every day. That had to mean something. But he couldn't do that to Rachel. How could he look at himself if he dumped Rachel just because Donna came back? Donna left him. Rachel never did. Donna had her chance but didn't want it. Rachel had never let him down, and he couldn't imagine that she ever would.

Would his feelings be different in the morning? Would he come to realise the mistake he made on acting on those feelings? Were those feelings even there anymore? Or had the hope and love lust been building up in him for the last few years? His feelings were so muddled up that they seemed quite difficult to understand.

He was never one to navigate emotional or romantic relationships well. Every one of his girlfriends had proof of that. He never knew what to do. He always made them make the decision for him. But that couldn't happen this time around.

These were the thoughts that kept Josh up.

Donna on the other hand, watched Tilly drift back off to sleep. It was easy to focus just on her daughter and nothing else. But that wasn't going to happen tonight, not with everything that happened in Josh's room. She shouldn't have gone in there. Things would have been so much simpler if she had just gone to bed and pretended the conversation in the kitchen never happened. But she did go in there, and now she had to deal with the consequences of it.

The past five years of her life had been dictated by the last words Josh said to her, and to find out he never meant them was heart breaking. To think of the family they could have been, or how happy their life together would have been, would always weigh on her mind.

Was it all her fault? Should she have known he couldn't have meant them? She knew Josh better than anyone else in the world, and not once did she think it could have been a heat of the moment thing. Something Josh said just to make Donna feel a sliver of the pain he was. Should she have tried harder? Should she come back sooner?

All these answers she was so sure she knew once upon a time, and now it seemed her world had turned completely on it's head. She no longer knew left from right, or up from down. She was even questioning who she herself had been for the last five years. Cause she wasn't sure she even knew that person anymore.

How could one conversation do that? How could it bring up old memories, feelings, and regrets? And by God, did she regret things. She never intended to keep Tilly from Josh, and she always wanted Tilly to know her father, but everything seemed too complicated, that it would never be the way things were again. That all seemed so stupid now.

And of course, she planned to tell Josh. She wasn't sure why she had taken so long to do it. But it didn't seem like the thing you just blurt out in the middle of dinner. The plan was never contingent on much. She never thought getting together was even a possibility. She thought friends was pushing it. So, she was not expecting anything from Josh before she told him. She was just waiting for the right moment.

She couldn't help but watch their beautiful daughter's chest rise and fall in slumber. It was strange to think about Tilly as being 'theirs'. She has always been just Donna's. For over four years she had raised Tilly alone. And all along she might not have had to. And maybe, she wouldn't have to do that anymore, either.

But she was scared of Josh's reaction. She had seen him at his absolute worst, and it had scared her each time she had. She would pretend it was no big deal and that everything was all right, but it wasn't, not always. And what if he lashed out when he actually discovered the truth? What if he couldn't control himself? What if Tilly saw?

She had to tell him, she just had to figure out how.

It was no wonder that in the morning when Donna woke, she found Josh slumped across the counter in front of the coffee maker. If she had gotten up just five minutes earlier, then maybe he would have been finding her in the same position.

"Morning," Donna said as she took two mugs out of the cupboard.

Upon hearing Donna's voice Josh suddenly perked up, it was as if he didn't want her to know exactly how little sleep he got, or that it was her that kept him up all night. "Yeah, Morning," he said spinning around to see her. It was then when he saw it. She looked as tired as he felt, though he would never say that. He wasn't that stupid. "Get much sleep?"

"A bit," she replied and plopped the cups on the counter.

"Same," Josh added.

It was like a standoff of who would bring it up first. Josh had a look that said he was playing over the good parts of what had occurred in his room. While Donna was timid, as if she was nervous about this particular topic of conversation.

You would think that after barely sleeping all night and going over and over things in her head that she would know exactly what to say and how to say it. But seeing Josh made all the words she had thought off fuzzy.

It was the same for Josh, he thought he had perfected what he was going to say, but being in Donna's presence made him question himself, and he very rarely did that.

"Last night was-," they said in unison, and then smiled trying to supress their laughter.

"You go first," Josh said, as if he were always the gentleman.

"No, you," she replied. What she said was determinate on him.

"Okay," he stammered, he was kind of hoping she would go first so that he wouldn't have to, but alas he had to get the words out, so he pushed through the awkwardness. "Last night, I think was a really good start to rebuilding our relationship, be it friendship, or you know," Josh began, and Donna agreed. It really did feel good to get all this out in the open, and to understand where the other stood. "But, I have a girlfriend. That I love. And I can't throw our relationship away because you've been back in my life for two minutes. However, I do think continuing to talk will help build our foundation back up, but as of right now, we can't do anymore…extra-curricular activities," he explained. "Sorry."

"No, don't apologise," Donna began. The entire time he was talking she was trying to keep her face as neutral as possible. She couldn't let him know what she really felt about had just been said. "I was going to say the same thing. I mean not the exact same thing, But the substance was the there," she lied. She wasn't going to say any of that. And now she was completely glad that he had gone first. Because if she had said what she really felt, she was sure to be standing there looking quite red faced right now. "I think we pushed things too fast last night, and we got stuck in the heat of the moment. That was all. No harm, no foul," Donna continued.

"Thanks for understanding," Josh said pulling Donna in for a hug. Donna didn't want to leave his arms. In his arms he was hers, she could pretend things had worked out the way she had wanted them to.

"Course," she said when they pulled away. Maybe this was for the better. Without their love lives interfering she could really start on working on opening a dialogue with Josh about Tilly's paternity. Maybe this was for the best, because although she had always very much wanted Josh as her partner, she wanted him as Tilly's father more.

 **What do you think? Should Josh just dump Rachel, or was he smart to not go straight back to Donna? How do you think Donna should or will tell him, and when do you think she will? How do you think Josh will react?**

 **Also again, can't promise when the next update will be (Just to do this one, I've neglected my assignments for a week) but there will be one one day soon.**

 **Please Review :D**


	9. Chapter 9

**I am so sorry about the wait. Let me tell you, the last few months I have died about three times under the weight of my school work. And honestly after i finished my course I hated writing anything. So I just relaxed (Watched the WW again) and refreshed for a bit there. I hope ya'll are still willing to read, and you don't hate me too much for my absence...again died three times.**

Time was passing so slowly for Donna, yet also going warp speed. Every day that she didn't tell Josh the truth sent shooting pains to her stomach. She knew she had to do it. And the sooner the better. But she just didn't know how to put the words together.

Of course, she wanted to do it in private, but they very rarely had a moment alone since the incident. Josh was either always at Rachel's, or vice versa. And she also thought it better to do it without Tilly in the room.

What was she meant to say though? Just blurt out the truth? Or should she choose her words carefully. She'd had five years to think of what to say, and yet still had no idea. There were very few things in the past that she couldn't tell Josh. Except for hiding her true feelings for years, words usually come easily. They came out with such velocity when they were working in the west wing that you'd never know either of them were keeping something to themselves.

Donna was sitting at the breakfast bar looking at her photo album. It was a ritual for her. At midnight on Tilly's birthday she would look over the memories of her daughter's life. She couldn't believe how fast her little girl had grown up. It seemed like only yesterday when Donna was in the hospital. But now Tilly was five years old. Or would be in a couple of hours if she was being precise.

Donna's fingers glided over the pictures from Tilly's first birthday. Donna was never one to keep a photo album, but that changed quite soon after Tilly was born. It seemed important to keep evidence of everything that happened. To chronicle Tilly's life for those not able to see it in person. Really, she started because of Josh. Just in case one day he was back in there lives and wanted to know his daughter. She didn't think they'd ever be here though.

This year, unlike others, something was different. When she looked at the pictures she didn't feel like she normally did. There was something missing. Or really someone.

Josh should have been in every photo. He should have been holding Tilly up as she blew out her candles. He should have been holding her hands as she learnt to walk. He should have had her on his chest as they both succumbed to exhaustion. He should have been there, and it was Donna's fault he wasn't.

"What'cha looking at?" Josh asked startling Donna. She had been so enthralled, that she hadn't even heard him come in. She thought he was staying at Rachel's tonight. Mostly because that's what he said he was doing.

"Oh, hey," Donna said quickly wiping the tears from her eyes, so he didn't see, though she was sure if he asked she could come up with a quick cover for why she had been crying. "What are you doing here?"

"I live here," Josh replied.

"I mean…you know what I mean," Donna said.

"Tilly asked me to be here, and I can't say no to the pout," he explained, though getting that across to Rachel was a lot harder. It was why he was only arriving at midnight and not earlier like he had originally planned. However, maybe it was for the better, this way he was able to surprise Tilly in the morning with his presence.

"What can I say, I taught her well," Donna beamed. Because Josh was never able to say no to her pout either.

"Yes, you did," he grinned, knowing exactly what she was referring too. He never really cared that he was all that susceptible to Donna, and really didn't mind that he was even more so to her daughter. "So, what are you looking at," he asked as he came over.

Donna didn't reply but showed him instead. Realising what it was, Josh took the seat next to her, and began scanning each photo on the page. He looked at each intently and loved seeing the little girl grow with each new picture.

Josh was so focussed on the photos, he didn't even notice Donna's hand shaking as she turned the pages. "Josh-" Donna began. But no words followed.

Josh looked up at her, waiting for her to continue. It was the first time he registered the look on her face. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing, uh don't worry," she said turning her attention back to the book and flipping the page. Josh knew that wasn't the truth but didn't think he should push it. Not talking since the incident had been working for them. If they didn't mention it, it was easier to pretend nothing happened.

When they reached the last page, Donna got up to get a glass of water. Being in such proximity was not helping. Her gut felt twisted, and her chest was tight. She needed air. She needed to be away from Josh.

Donna turned her back to him as she drank from the glass. She needed to compose herself. She needed to take a few breaths. She needed to ground herself.

"Donna?" Josh's voice waivered. She was probably worrying him. He could probably hear the change in her breathing, or even the pace of her heartbeat. Taking just one more deep breath, she turned back.

That's when her stomach really dropped.

While Donna wasn't looking, Josh had flipped to the front of the album. This wouldn't have been a problem, however the first half dozen photos needed to be explained.

"She's so small," he said looking grief stricken over the photos of Tilly on the day she was born.

"Josh-" Donna tried to begin.

"I mean, I know babies are small, but they're not meant to be this small, right?" Josh said gazing back up to Donna.

"No. No, they're not," Donna replied. "She was a premmie," she explained while adverting her eyes. This wasn't how she was meant to tell Josh. But she knew that it was only a matter of time before he worked it out.

"God, Donna," he said sympathetically, and she believed he hadn't put two and two together yet. "I'm sorry you had to go through that," he added.

"It was a scary few weeks. Touch and go at times," Donna replied, her arms folded across her chest. In all honesty she hated thinking of the first month of Tilly's life. "But we made it through."

"How much?" He asked, again looking down at the photos of the tiny baby.

"What?" Donna questioning, not sure what Josh was asking.

"How premature was she?" He asked.

This was it. She had to tell him the truth. "10 weeks," she answered. If she had a stopwatch she would time how long it took him to piece it together. "Josh-"

The look on Donna's face told Josh all he needed to know. "She's mine?"

"Yeah," she said, though it came out in a near inaudible whisper.

"Well…I'm going to need a minute," Josh said. He was about to cradle his heads in his hands, when he decided a drink seemed much more appealing.

"Josh-"

"No. Don't speak," he said as he opened a bottle of thirty-year-old scotch.

"Ca-"

"I feel I deserve that much, don't you think?" He said, as he put the glass to his lips, and Donna went silent. He did deserve that. He deserved so much more than that, but that was all she could give him right now.

Donna watched Josh intently, watched as every possible emotion ran across his face. The hurt, the confusion, the joy, the anger. All warranted being felt, she just wished he wouldn't settle on the last one.

Knowing he was being watched, he turned away. He wanted to work through this without the intent stare of Donna on him constantly.

He was a father? That was not what he was expecting to hear tonight. Hell, he wasn't ever expecting to hear that. Usually there was a nine-month waiting period before those words would be true. He wasn't meant to find out one night that he had a five-year-old.

Josh placed the glass on the counter after downing the liquor, and then turned back around. "What the hell, Donna?"

"I was always going to tell you," she began.

"Yeah? When? When she was graduating college, or maybe when some other schmuck was walking her down the aisle? When were you going to tell me?"

"I was trying to find the right time."

"The right time would have been when you were standing in my office asking for a friend," he shot back. "No actually, the right time would have been five years ago," he added.

"What? When you kicked me out of your house and said you never wanted to see me again?" Donna countered. There was a reason she hadn't told him. He had to understand that. She didn't do it maliciously. She would never do that. Not to anyone, but especially not to Josh.

"You're blaming me?"

"No. I just- I made a mistake," she stammered.

"A mistake? A mistake is putting an extra zero on the federal budget, or spilling wine on the head of a head of state, or even falling asleep in a cheese day meeting-"

"Hey, only one of those was me," Donna countered. She had done a lot of stupid stuff at the White House, but Josh had always done considerably more.

"Your point?" Josh questioned.

"I don't know, you brought it up," Donna replied.

Josh went silent again, not knowing what to say, an uncommon occurrence for him. He honestly didn't know how he was meant to react. "I have a daughter?"

Josh's question seemed more like a statement, so Donna didn't answer. But she did notice the corners of his mouth turn up. No matter how he was taking it, she knew it was something he was glad he was hearing and able to factually say.

"We have a daughter?" Josh said as if it only just registered. This made Donna smile. It was the first time she had ever heard 'we' in relation to Tilly, and by God did she like the way it sounded.

"We do," she said as she came to rest on the counter next to Josh. He was taking it better than she thought he was going to, thankfully.

Josh's hand crept out to reach Donna's, resting his fingers on hers. He wanted her to understand that although he was angry, he didn't hate her. He wouldn't make judgement until he knew the whole truth behind why it had taken her five years to tell him about Tilly. He was guessing she had her reasons.

"Well, you've got a hell of a lot of explaining to do, don't you," Josh said.

 **It's a short one, I know, I just wanted to get back into it. And writing this convo was actually pretty hard. What do you think is going to happen now? Does Donna have a good reason? Will Josh ever forgive her? And what will Tilly think?**

 **Please Review :D**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey guys, so still trying to get back into the swing of writing, and honestly that's not going so well. But I got a chapter done, so that's something, right?**

 **Hope you enjoy.**

"So, tell me what happened," Josh said. He needed to hear it. He honestly couldn't go to bed without knowing. He would lay awake all night if he didn't. Thinking about why it had taken her so long to come find him and things like that. He would come out in the morning looking worse for wear. And he thought Tilly deserved better than a half zombified Josh on her birthday.

"Okay, well, where do I even begin?" Donna said thinking about how her life was over five years ago.

 _Donna had been back in Madison for two almost three weeks. She thought the queasiness was due to the move and having to settle back in, but it wasn't going away. So, when she realised she was late, she took a test._

 _It was a long three minutes._

 _Excruciatingly long._

 _So very long._

 _And then the strip turned pink._

 _It had to be David's. It had to be. Statistically, anyway. There was no other possibility. Well there was, but Donna didn't want to think about that. The baby was David's. It just had to be._

 _And that's what she started to believe._

 _David being the father meant nothing had to change, that moving back to Madison wasn't the worst decision she could have made and that she hadn't given up everything she had always wanted when she left Josh._

 _It was easier to deal with. This way she wasn't the girl who cheated on her fiancé or was having another man's baby. This way was the cookie cutter way her life looked when she was growing up and thinking about her future. Though the baby was meant to come after the wedding. So, it was David's, it had to be._

 _And that's what she believed. Or really what she forced herself to believe. For months she focussed on other things in order not to think about what could have been. She threw herself into her schoolwork, taking her mother to chemotherapy, working part time and preparing for the baby. And it worked. Until it didn't._

" _What are you doing?" Donna asked as she walked into her bedroom and saw David packing a suitcase._

" _Leaving," he said very matter of fact, as he clipped his bag shut._

" _For how long?" Donna asked, though as she looked into the closet, she could tell it wasn't for the length of a business trip._

" _Forever," he answered, and Donna's heart dropped._

" _Why? What do you mean?" Donna said, taking a seat on the bed. She was over six months pregnant, there was no way she could take this news while standing up._

" _I've asked for a transfer, it's finally been granted," he replied._

" _You've been planning this?" She asked confused._

" _I don't want kids."_

" _Excuse me?"_

" _Actually, I don't want another man's kids," he said looking squarely at Donna. "I know you cheated on me. With Josh, I'm guessing," he continued._

 _It was as if Donna's world was crashing down around her. "How-" She began._

" _How long have I known?" he finished guessing what she was going to ask. "Since you told me you were pregnant," he answered, he could tell that had confused her more, so he continued. "I'm infertile, I can't have kids. It was kind of a giveaway," he explained._

" _I don't-"_

" _Look, I have a plane to catch, I wasn't expecting you back so early, I wrote you a letter explaining everything," David said as he picked up his bag. "Sorry, this couldn't work out," he said as he kissed Donna on the cheek and left._

 _Donna sat in a near catatonic state. She couldn't believe it. It seemed impossible. Her whole world was falling apart. She tried to keep her breathing under control, but that was easier said then done._

 _She looked to the nightstand, and just like David had said there was the letter._

 _It really did explain everything._

 _He had tried to move past the betrayal, but that wasn't possible. He might have stayed if it was a boy, but like he said he never really wanted kids. He had even told her once while they were dating that he was unable to procreate, but she must have been distracted with something at work and forgotten. He'd asked for a transfer after the sixteen-week ultrasound, it had taken some time to go through. And that he didn't want an explanation for Josh, he could always see it, he wasn't blind, even if they were, or really weren't anymore._

 _It was a few days after when she realised what it really meant. Josh was the father of her baby, but she hadn't spoken to him in over six months. If it had been a month then maybe it would have been easier to contact him. But six months. He wouldn't have understood._

 _And she wasn't really sure she wanted to talk to him just yet. The way they had ended things left a lot to be desired. He was so angry. It had scared her. And he made it clear. He didn't want to see or hear from her._

 _She again threw herself into anything that would keep her distracted. If she never gave herself a break, then she wouldn't think about it. And there was a lot to do before the baby was there. She had papers to finish, and stuff to buy. There began to be very little time to think about what she didn't want to think about. So, she thought it was working._

" _Where's David? Your father and I haven't seen him recently," Donna's mom asked as she was receiving her chemo._

 _Donna's eyes near popped out of her head, as she continued reading the magazine she had in her hands. She had been able to skate over this issue with her parents in recent weeks, always able to move the topic of conversation on to something else. But maybe it was time to come clean. But this was also not the time to upset her mother._

" _He, uh- he left me," Donna said in a low voice. She was ashamed, and humiliated, and she didn't think her mother would understand if she knew the whole truth._

" _You're seven months pregnant, what do you mean he left?"_

 _Donna thought about what would be the easiest for her mother to take. Plus, she also didn't want to disappoint her mother, and if she knew the truth, she would definitely be disappointed in her. But was it fair to paint David in such a harsh light, when he really didn't do anything wrong?_

" _I don't want to talk about it," she said putting the magazine down and starting to fuss over her mother. "How are you feeling, can I get you something to drink?"_

" _I'm fine," she replied, as Donna fixed the pillow behind her mother's back. "Donna tell me what's going on," she pushed._

 _She hadn't told anyone the truth yet, she hadn't really let it sink in for herself yet, either. But she knew she had to tell her mother something. All she knew was she, Donna, wasn't ready for it to come out. She wasn't ready to deal with it. Her way had been working._

 _She turned away from her mother, and everything came rushing back. Allowing herself to stop and think about what was really going on, sent her in to a stress filled panic attack._

" _Donna?"_

 _But Donna couldn't say anything, and not wanting to be in front of anyone for her breakdown, she left the room as fast as possible._

 _She made it half way down the hallway before the pain set in._

 _Donna crouched to the floor, using the wall for support. This was pain she had never felt before. It shot through her stomach, immobilizing her as it did._

 _Knowing she needed to find help, she tried to stand, but the ache was constant. Soon she saw the puddle that was forming between her legs._

 _A nurse came passed, as Donna was trying to stand again. And it wasn't long before Donna was in a hospital bed of her own._

 _The doctors did everything they could to stop the labour, but hours later, Donna wasn't so much holding a baby in her arms but watching it be rushed away to the NICU._

"The doctors said I'd been pushing myself too hard. That with the speed I was going at they were surprised it hadn't happened earlier," Donna explained. Josh nodding along from the chair next to her.

He shouldn't have, but he blamed himself. If he hadn't told Donna to leave then maybe she wouldn't have. If he hadn't been so adamant, then maybe she wouldn't have believed him. If he hadn't used that tone, maybe she wouldn't have been scared of the truth. And maybe if he had gone after her he would have found all this out sooner.

"You never were one to slow down," Josh replied, not really knowing what to say, but wanting to fill the silence.

"But I should have. I'd read countless baby books. I knew everything I needed to do. I knew I was meant to avoid stress, take a break, but I couldn't. I was selfish. And I let her down because of it," Donna said, as more tears fell from her eyes. The salty droplets seemed to be repeating occurrence tonight. "She almost died, because I couldn't admit to myself that I screwed up," she continued. She had beat herself up because of it countless times over the years. Her first act of motherhood and it turned out to be a disaster.

Ashamed she was crying she rested her head in her hands so not to be seen. Falling into old ways, Josh started rubbing circles on Donna's back, letting her know it was okay to cry, and that he was here for her.

Josh, for Donna's liking, was being far too kind and understanding. She had expected screaming and fighting. It was why she had been so afraid to tell him. Why it had taken so long. And here he was comforting her as if she was the one to just find out this life altering news.

"You can't do this," Donna said sitting back up straight. She was glad she had taken her makeup off for the night, because she was sure there would have been mascara streaks all the way down her cheeks by now.

"Do what?" Josh asked, his hand still on her back.

"Be so kind and understanding. I lied to you, I betrayed you. You should be throwing plates or glasses around," Donna replied as she got her breathing under control. Josh wondered if this was how other people in Donna's past had demonstrated their anger to her.

"When was the last time you saw me throw something harder than a snowball around?" Josh asked, forcing Donna to smile, which again made her cry. It was her favourite memory of Josh and she was glad he remembered it as well. "What do you want from me, Donna?" Josh asked. He just wanted her to stop crying. It hurt him to see her this upset. Especially when he was trying to make her laugh. "I can yell, do you want me to yell?"

"You should be mad," she replied.

"I'm a little tired, can I be mad tomorrow?" Josh asked. He'd always been able to compartmentalize quickly. And he'd learned many a time that it was easier to think first then act. And usually after the initial shock was over, he was able to keep a level head and do what was best for the people around him.

"That seems fair," Donna answered.

Though right now he didn't want to be mad, and he couldn't see that changing between now and tomorrow night. He could tell Donna had beat herself up enough for both of them. And he knew it was going to be hard enough adjusting to the changes that came with fatherhood without holding animosity towards Donna.

Looking at the time on the microwave, Josh was shocked to see just how late it had gotten. Of course, they hadn't started talking until after midnight, but still, it was about time for bed.

"I think this is as good a place as any to call it a night, don't you think?" Josh said.

"Yeah," Donna agreed, and she watched Josh get up from his chair.

"Night," Josh said kissing Donna on the cheek. It wasn't a 'throw me against the wall in the heat of passion' type of kiss, but more of a 'I'll be in your life forever', one.

"Yeah, night," Donna replied as she watched Josh leave.

"Can I just ask you one more thing," Josh said stopping half way out the room and turning back.

"Of course," Donna replied almost instantly. She owed him at least that.

"What does it say on her birth certificate?" He asked. He assumed that the space after 'father' would have been left blank but he hoped like hell it wasn't.

"You're Tilly's father, Josh, her birth certificate reflects that," Donna said, completely understanding what he was asking. She had agonised for quite some time whether she should fill in that particular detail. But it the end it wasn't a hard decision to make.

"Good," he smiled and continued on his way.

Well it was done. Certainly not how Donna had expected telling him, but when did anything in her life go as expected.

 **Okay, I'm not exactly sure I'm happy with how this chapter turned out, it wasnt how I had been picturing it, but it's as good as it's gonna get.**

 **But, what do you think of Josh's reaction? Cause before I even started writing last chapter I always pictured he'd be so angry and there would be a huge fight, but as I was writing it, I don't know, it just didnt feel right.**

 **Anyway,**

 **Please Review :D**


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